“You are together, aren’t you?”
“Like, living together. I think.” I guess we didn’t discuss those details but what else could he be talking about? We’re definitely going to talk some more but we were all over each other last night so I was distracted.
“Has he said he loves you?”
“Not yet. It’s been like ten minutes!” I protest, shaking my head.
“Be careful, Vic. You know what happened last time.”
“Oh, not you too!” I say in annoyance. “Geez. Can’t anyone be happy for me?”
“Who else have you told?”
“No one,” I mumble, “But this is why!”
She cocks her head. “The truth is, you’ve compared every guy you’ve met to him and no one ever came close. Even if you’re making a mistake, it’s one you have to make because you’ll never get over him if you don’t.”
“I don’t want to get over him—I love him.” It feels weird to say it out loud, but it’s also the truth. My truth. Whether or not he returns my feelings is somewhat irrelevant because I feel the way I feel.
“The question is whether he loves you too.”
“I think he does. Why else are we doing this?” I narrow my gaze at her. “Don’t you dare say sex.”
“It crossed my mind this might have been some kind of revenge fuck,” she admits. “Where he wants to hurt you for hurting him back then.”
“By getting me to sleep with him? How does that hurt me? I mean, yes, if he ghosts me now, that would suck, but I’m not so invested I’ll die or whatever.”
“I just don’t want him to use you.”
“He’s not.” I say it with confidence even though a tiny part of me can’t help but worry. Jordan has too much going on in his life to want revenge for something that genuinely wasn’t my fault. I hold some of the blame for not standing up to my father, but most of what happened was bad luck and?—
“Hey, babe.” His voice makes goosebumps break out on my skin, and I look up in surprise.
“Jordan! What are you doing here?”
“I brought you dinner.” He holds up a bag from Cicero’s. “Garlic knots for the win.”
I laugh. “Thanks. Hey, this is my friend Merrill. Merrill, this is Jordan.”
“Well, hi.” She smiles in delight, offering her hand. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
He just laughs. “Hopefully, most of it is good.”
“So far.” She cocks her head. “As long as you don’t plan to do anything to change that, we’re good.”
“No plans to do anything different than what I’m doing.” He looks to me. “Can you take a little break?”
“Uh, yeah. Let me put Jenny on the register and we can eat in the back. I’ll see you later, Merrill.”
“Bye!” She waves as she walks out of the store.
It takes a few minutes for Jenny to take over and then Jordan and I walk into the back. There’s a cramped area with a desk and filing cabinet that we call my “office” even though it’s just a little corner of the stock room.
“This was really thoughtful,” I say.”
“Well, I had some time so I figured I’d come by and feed you.”
“That was sweet.” I move a bunch of papers to make room for our food and he opens the containers of chicken parm and fettuccine alfredo.
