“How’s life?” she asks me when Dad, Milo, and Jude start talking about advanced stats for the season.
“Pretty good,” I say. “Hockey keeps me busy.”
“So…no special someone in your life?”
There’s a loaded question.
But I don’t want to blow up our evening by telling her about Victoria.
“I’m doing some dating,” I hedge. “I’ll let you know if anything changes.”
“You’ve been single for so long,” she presses. “I know what happened with Victoria was hard on you, but there are lots of wonderful women out there. You just have to give someone a chance. They’re not all manipulative little bitches.”
I wince and then defend her before I can stop myself. “She wasn’t manipulative. She was young, and her father was putting a lot of pressure on her. We had a condom malfunction that resulted in pregnancy and then bad luck with that car accident. None of that was her fault. It was bad luck and bad timing. No one was manipulative. Except maybe her father.”
Mom’s brows inch up toward her hairline. “Last time Victoria’s name came up, you had a lot of opinions.”
“I still have a lot of opinions, but she wasn’t manipulative.” I take a sip of my beer, hoping my mother will let this go, but no such luck.
“Have you talked to her?”
Well, fuck. In for a penny, in for a pound.
“We ran into each other at a club,” I say with a shrug. “We had a chance to talk about things and it was cathartic, to be honest. Getting things off our chests, both good and bad. I wasn’t completely blameless, you know.”
She frowns. “Jordan. You’re not thinking of doing something stupid, are you?”
I sure am.
“Mom, leave it alone. We’ve talked a few times. It’s not a big deal. In fact, it’s good to let go of all the negativity.”
“You were always blind when it came to her. I thought you’d changed, Jordan. Think about everything she cost you!”
Now that Victoria and I have talked, I understand that most of what happened wasn’t her fault. Maybe indirectly, just by virtue of us being together, but at the end of the day we failed each other and let other people manipulate us.
“Mom, there’s nothing to worry about.”
“If she worms her way back into your life?—”
“Mom.” I give her a pointed look. “Stop.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t because I love you. You’ve come so far over the last couple of years, please don’t ruin your life again over this girl. She’s nothing but trouble. Didn’t you learn your lesson the first time around?”
“That’s not going to happen. We’re just friends. It’s not a big deal.”
But obviously, it’s going to be once people find out we’re seeing each other again.
I don’t get back to my room until after two so it’s probably too late to call Victoria. Besides, I don’t want to tell her about my conversation with my mom and since she knows they were coming to the game, she’s bound to ask. If I’m honest, the conversation with my mom pissed me off.
Why is everyone determined to believe everything that happened was Victoria’s fault?
Probably because that’s what I believed too, up until a week or so ago.
I fed into that narrative because I didn’t know all the facts, and I was pretty vocal about it too.
Now that I do, I need to fix this. Otherwise, we won’t stand a chance. I have to man up this time because deep down I know I let her down before. She thought I would fight for her because I told her I loved her. I promised her the world and then when things got tough, I walked away.
I’m supposed to be a man. Back then, I was a young and inexperienced one, but I don’t have that excuse anymore. And if I’m going to be better this time, I have to prove it.
