“I’m sorry.”
“Our parents wouldn’t let her have an abortion either…so she had a baby during her senior year of high school and now she works full-time while my mom watches him.”
“I didn’t know what to think,” he says. “When I saw him, and how he ran to you, my mind started racing.”
“We lost our baby,” I whisper, tears filling my eyes again. “You know that.”
“Technically, I never got to be alone with you again. Everything came from your parents or my lawyer. For all I know, you all lied to me.”
I feel a strange combination of frustration and guilt.
That part was my fault.
He wasn’t blameless, but I could have fought harder to talk to him, at least one more time. I should have. The baby I lost was his child too. It was completely unplanned, an accident due to a broken condom, and we were both scared.
My father was furious, though.
And I let him convince me that Jordan was bad news. That he wouldn’t take care of me or our baby. That he’d cheat and lie and dump me. Even though Jordan had never been anything but wonderful.
“I never would have lied about something so important,” I whisper, my voice thick with emotion. “I can’t believe you think that of me.”
He looks away, his jaw tight. “I can’t believe you let your father convince you I wasn’t good enough for you.”
Ouch.
“And I can’t believe you didn’t love me enough to fight for me.”
His eyes snap to mine and he scowls. “Fight for you? Your father was threatening to have me arrested, to destroy me in the court of public opinion, to?—”
“He had no leg to stand on legally!” I say in frustration. “We’re less than a year apart in age, and I never accused you of anything so?—”
“Yet,” he interrupts. “But you did anything and everything your parents told you to do and I couldn’t stick around, waiting to find out if they could talk you into lying about our sexual relationship.”
“The whole time we were together, you promised you’d be there for me. You promised you loved me. Instead, when shit hit the fan, you left me. Alone, heartbroken, and grieving the baby we lost, in case you forgot!”
“In case I forgot?” His voice rises slightly as his eyes narrow. “You think I fucking forgot that our baby died? Your father wouldn’t let me near you after the car accident! Police were involved, lawyers, even my coach had to show up. It was a fucking nightmare. You do realize I almost lost everything after that, right? My career, my friends, my reputation—I was this out of control nineteen-year-old pro athlete who needed reining in. And in the blink of an eye, they banished me to Atlanta. I lost my girl, my kid, and my future—in one fell swoop. So don’t talk to me about being alone!”
We glare at each other and a twinge of guilt creeps in, this one much stronger than the last.
I couldn’t control the things my father did and threatened to do, but Jordan definitely got the short end of the stick professionally.
“I didn’t realize…” I say after a few minutes. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too.” He huffs out a breath. “Do you want to…go get a cup of coffee? I feel like there’s a lot we never got to say. It might be good to have some…closure.”
I have to get to class, have a busy day ahead of me, but he’s right.
It might be good to get everything off my chest. All the things I wished I could have told him four years ago. Maybe this is what I need to finally move on and truly get past the events that nearly destroyed both of us.
“Okay,” I say softly. “I’d like that.”
“I’ll drive. Come on.”
And just like that, I’m back in Jordan’s SUV.
Chapter 5
Jordan
