I’m pregnant.
Jordan and I are having a baby.
Again.
Fear and excitement and worry shoot through me at different times over the course of the day. I’m probably more pensive than I normally would be, though I do my best to be present as we explore Manhattan. The company is wonderful, Jordan is always touching me—whether it’s holding my hand or putting an arm around me—and I’m honestly having a wonderful day.
Yet in the back of my mind, the idea that there’s a little life growing inside me is ever present.
My parents will undoubtedly lose their minds.
Ivy will be disappointed because I know she likes having the only grandchild.
Jordan is really happy, though. That’s both surprising and curious. Kids were nowhere on my radar other than a future fantasy that had no timetable. Yet here we are again. Almost like we’re picking up exactly where we left off.
“You okay?” Chloe asks me as we wander through a souvenir shop in Times Square.
“I have to tell you a secret,” I say, turning to her. “Promise it’s just between us for a few days. Please?”
“Of course.” Her face is serious. “You can tell me anything. What’s going on?”
“I’m…pregnant.”
“Oh wow.” She looks surprised but not unhappy. “Have you told Jordan?”
I nod. “We went to an urgent care this morning and found out together.”
“And?”
“He’s ecstatic.”
“But you’re not.”
“I’m supposed to graduate and get a job, start my career. Go house-hunting. Maybe get engaged and plan a wedding… this wasn’t… I’m scared.”
“It’s okay.” She squeezes my arm. “It’s normal to be scared. But here’s the thing—you can still do all of those things. It just depends on how and when. You might have to delay getting a job until the baby comes. It’s not like you guys won’t be able to afford daycare. But you can still look for a house, get engaged, even get married if that’s what you want. You don’t have to give up anything, just adjust your timing and your expectations a little.”
“I don’t know what I want. That’s why we didn’t talk about things too much this morning. I wanted to come be with you guys and have fun for a day, without overthinking everything.”
“Which is a reasonable thing to do.”
“Ignoring it isn’t going to make it go away.”
“Do you want it to go away?”
“No. Not even a little.”
“So, that’s your answer.”
“Why do you make it sound so easy?”
“Because babies happen. Hana’s pregnancy was not only unplanned, it was a miracle. Aiden had a vasectomy before they met. Yet the tubes grew back and here we are. Claudia got pregnant like six weeks after meeting Anders—and it’s been the best thing ever. As long as you’re both on board, this is going to be a good thing. You’ll see.”
I glance outside to where the guys are standing on the street talking while we ladies shop, and I smile.
“He loves me,” I say, though I’m not sure if I’m talking to her or to myself.
“Yes, he does.” She nudges me. “And you’re going to have such pretty babies.”
