It didn’t make sense. Getting me out of the way wouldn’t clear a path for Kent to take over the pack. If Grant won, it’d be him.
If Grant lost, there were plenty of people who’d take over before Kent: Jill, Seth, Dakota, even Maia—though she was the youngest of the wolves who’d come with us from Idaho.
It’d been a hell of a thing, getting her started at a public high school when Jill and I were only eighteen ourselves.
But Kent didn’t have the kind of leadership ability that anybody would turn to himfirst. Or second. Or tenth.
I knew for a fact he got on Jillian’s nerves well before this incident. There was just no way.
So why thefuckwould he risk it? What could Grant possibly offer him that was worth risking his life with us here?
What hadn’t I given him that he wanted so badly?
While I was staring into nothing, trying to make sense of it, the oven went off. The timer was shrill and louder in my head than I thought it was in reality.
It was blaring against my nerves. I needed to get up and grab the tray. I’d been making dinner.
Dinner was?—
Dinner was good to eat. We needed to eat.
All I had to do was get up, and we’d eat dinner.
The pack and me and... and not Kent.
Kent was gone, because he’d betrayed us.
Before I could force myself to stand, Maia bounced into action.
“I’ll get it!” Her voice was so bright it sounded unnatural.
Whatever tension I’d summoned up to force myself to stand, disappeared. Dazed, I sat there with empty hands.
While we listened to Maia bustle around in the kitchen, turning off the beeping oven and shifting around plates and utensils, the living room remained quiet.
Jill had paced to the window to watch Kent leave.
At the corner of the couch, Cash shrank back even further.
Dakota was exchanging quiet words with Seth, and if I’d paid attention, I probably could’ve figured out what they were saying, but it all sounded like buzzing to me.
“Dinner’s ready,” Maia announced as she came back in. “Serve yourselves if you want any. There’s loads and it smellssogood.”
I felt the warmth of her smile when she turned my way, but I couldn’t meet her eye.
Who cared if I made a decent macaroni and cheese if I was this much of a fuckup?
“This is for you,” Maia whispered, holding out the bowl she’d brought in. I’d presumed it was for her, but when she offered it to me, something in my chest squeezed and ached fiercely. “Jax, I’m so?—”
I shook my head, but after a deep breath, I was able to meet her eye.
I couldn’t hear it, not right then. Couldn’t have her feeling as sorry for me as I felt for myself.
I needed to keep my shit together, for the pack if for nothing else. They couldn’t see me crumble.
“Thank you, Maia.” If my voice was strained from the force of holding back my hurt, neither one of us acknowledged it.
I took the bowl from her and forced myself to take a bite, even though macaroni and cheese had just become the most unappetizing thing on the planet, just to show that I was fine. As I chewed, I smiled up at her.
