“I’m fae,” I echo, focusing on the sensations that knowledge awakens inside me. Shock seems an underlying emotion, mostly because having it confirmed that I amothermakes…sense. I am partly human, and partly fae.
“You’re a rare creature,” he continues. “One that evolves and grows without becoming something else. I assume when the hatchling sprouted from your chest, that is when first your faerie blood began to battle for purchase, evolving within you, giving you your ability to see and hear beyond humanity. The blood of our kind taints many humans, but given the compulsion to fight it, shove it down, or strive tofit inwith the normal, for many nothing comes of it. It dulls and weakens, and eventually shatters as the frail human life slips from this plane of existence.”
“Frel…appeared when I first started seriously considering running away, when I first thought that maybe everything could be different, and I could be free. It still took me months to act, but…that was when I first truly thought freedom might be attainable.”
“Yes, that makes enough sense,” he murmurs. “That would, I assume, be why her name meansfreedom.”
“Does it?” I ask.
He nods. “It does. She’s born of you. Her origin—a faerie’s birthplace and core of existence—lies in your desire to be free. She’s come out unseelie because the very idea of freedom to you is bitter. You long for no restraint, but when you are not subdued into it, that longing is heavily mixed with spite.”
My stomach knots, and I turn away from his hand.
“And anger.”
I swallow.
“And suffering.”
I whisper, “After she appeared, while I was running, I saw other fae, creatures I’d never seen before. I ignored them, because Frel taught me that many fae are dangerous.”
“The imbalance of your blood had tipped. As I said, the evolution had begun.”
“If it continues to tip, I’ll become fully…like you?”
“Yes, love. You will.”
Fully fae. Fully powerful. Fully me.
“Castor?” I manage a shaking breath, then I take his hand. “Will you teach me magic? Will you teach me how to be strong?”
A wry smile touches his mouth. “Will I teach you not to need me?”
More daring than I’ve ever been, I say, “Yes.”
His mouth meets mine, hungry and sudden, pulling sounds I didn’t know I was capable of from my chest. Once he’s stolen my air and whatever remained of my sanity, he pulls back, sharp smile fixed in place, and says, “No.”
Chapter 21
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sushi and schemes.
“He’s not going to teach you magic?” Zahra blurts, grabbing a dragon roll off the conveyor belt coiling this restaurant. “Seriously?”
“I know. I’m kind of bummed about it, too.”
She scoffs. “Don’t be.I’llteach you.”
I freeze with a bite of seaweed salad halfway to my lips. Lowering my chopsticks, I lean forward and say, “You know how to?”
Beneath her human glamour, her familiar green eyes trail across the paper lanterns decorating the ceiling. “Probably?” She gasps. “We could even form a contract! Then I could teach you using your exact magic once I figure it out, probably!”
“A…contract?” I blink at my friend, who presently looks the way I’ve always known her to. Her hair’s a bit more vibrant, and the shades in her green eyes every so often shift with a tinge of northern lights, but for the most part, she seemshuman.
Mentioning forming a contract with me reminds me that she isn’t.
She scans my apprehension and backpedals. “Barring that, since it’s clearly made you a bit nervous, I’m sure Cael can teach you.”
