More than words can ever express.
Slipping my phone back in my pocket, I crouch, pluck the stone spider from the ground, and sigh.
Chapter 16
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A deal with the unseelie fae.
With Zahra’s stream music humming up from my phone, it doesn’t matter that I’m currently in another world, sitting on a bench beside a “trod” so I can catch connection in a garden overburdened with white blossoms and purple berries.
It doesn’t matter that a tiny pixie is diving in and out of the luxurious pool a hundred feet from me.
It doesn’t matter that a man whose eyes turn things to stone is on his knees, sleeves tied back, weeding a flower bed on my left.
None of it matters.
This—watching a CapyZahra stream on my phone—lets me turn off everything I can’t bear to think about. It’s like a reset, a refuge. Zahra’s streams let me breathe through the horrors of whatever happened during my day and whatever the next day might bring.
When an old man felt he had to personally adjust my lingerie for a shoot, Zahra’s laugh erased the sensation of his hands in all the wrong places. When the male model I was paired with stuck his tongue in my mouth, Zahra’s smile washed the feeling away. When my mother told me the news about howtheRodrick Drew of Drew Enterprises wanted to marry me, watching Zahra on Twitch was the only thing that settled the chills.
Marrying me off was my mother’s way of assuaging her concerns where it involved me outgrowing my modelesque looks. To her, the plan was perfect. She’d sell me to the flamboyant heir of Drew Enterprises, a millionaire CEO. She’d get a hand in his money, convince him we needed lots ofchildren, drop a few choice lines about a family TV show…and if any of my kids came out half as pretty as me, well.
She had a whole plan to sell my children, too.
Curling my legs up on the bench, I try to focus on the horror game Zahra’s playing with a few friends. Enigma’s in the group. And I adore him almost as much as I adore Zahra. He’s wild and free and chaos in its purest form. Even though he’s normally playing Minecraft on the WonderCraft server with StoneRogue, ManicPixieBlockBoy, FrostPlays, and his brother, Endeavor, whenever he jumps into a horror stream with anyone, he’s the least perturbed, rivaling only FrostPlays’ constantly cool demeanor. Since Frost isn’t in this one, he must hold the unshakable fort steady…because we all know ManicPixieBlockBoy isn’t going to.
Manie screams, again, and I giggle.
Needless to say, this stream is a collection of comfort characters for me.
It should be transporting me far, far away from thoughts of my mother.
With this—access to Zahra’s streams—I’ve regained the most normal thing I’ve ever been allowed to have. And, to top it off, Idon’thave an arranged marriage looming over me anymore.
Everything is fine.
Amazing, even.
Instead of being with a man who cops feels, I’m with one who sayskill me if it pleases you.
And, you know what? Maybe it will. Who knows? So far, despite the cage, Rodrick is higher on my list of people I would kill if given the chance. Not that I’d kill anyone. I really wouldn’t. I’m just saying that if Iweregoing to, there are about a hundred handsy, sexist, objectifying men who would make the cut before Castor. Who is on his knees. Tending to plants. And humming merrily right now.
Earlier, when I asked if I might be able to watch Zahra’s stream out here tonight, he saidAbsolutely but…
I nearly panicked, wondering what thebutentailed until his disposition took a pondering edge and he murmured,I would like you able to watch comfortably anywhere… I’ll work on a way to extend the snatches of signal so you have more freedom.
More freedom.
Screw the cage that I basically only sleep in, Castorhandsme freedom before I even know to ask for it. He gives me options and choices and respects my decisions. He is so sweet I hardly know what to do with him.
If I weren’t so invested in my stream, I may see him kiss a flower bud. And I may see that flower bud majestically sprawl open a second before he smiles and whispers, “That’s my girl.”
And all of thatmightdo things to my heart…if I weren’t so invested in my stream.
Quite wonderful it is that I’m so extremely invested in watching CapyZahra and Enigma pick on Manie as he runs screaming away from a ghost.
Witnessing Castor being so thoroughly endearing with his flowers would be detrimental for me, I fear.
