I amweak.
Willow saw it.
And Castor knows it.
Lips against my ear, he says, “It would take very little to have you begging to please me. You have already toyed close to such a precipice, haven’t you,Mine? This closeness you incite with me is the same you allowed from the man I took you from at the club. Isn’t it?”
I swallow, hard.
Castor’s voice lowers. “Use me, so I can use you.It’s how you’ve survived. It’s how you’ve given yourself an illusion of control once you broke free from the clutches of your mother.”
Every muscle in me tenses.
“I may be blindfolded, but I’m not blind, sweetheart. I understand the compulsion to become what someone else desires for the sake of self-preservation or acceptance. However, you will never be ready to make any real decisions so long as you exist with this mentality that subdues your wants in favor of another’s out of fear. You will never learn who you are or what you want so long as fear commands your actions. It took me many years to come to that conclusion. I would, if possible, like to spare you the pain of that journey.”
“I’m sorry.” I choke on the words. “I—”
“Shh.” His nose skims my skin. “It’s all right, love. I’m not upset. You are welcomed…nay.Encouragedto use me in any way that pleases you so long as it is not at your own expense. Trust that, in this relationship between us, you are in control.” Freeing me, he steps firmly back. “If you aren’t ready to accept me as your soulmate, it doesn’t need to eat you up inside. You can take as long as you wish deciding what to do with me, and, in the meantime, I don’t require you to pander to my emotions…even if I do like it.” Smiling deviously, he grazes his fingers over his lips. “If you decide to claim me someday, kiss me. Until then, be at peace. Whether you love me, hate me, or kill me in the end, I will cherish this time we’ve spent together. If I am little more than a stepping stone on your odyssey to greatness, crush mebeneath your shoe. I relish the attention of your bootsole, and it is far more than I have come to believe I deserve.”
Before I need to figure out a response to…all that, Castor claps his hands, startling me as he sweeps out of my cage. Firmly setting the entire matter aside, he says, “It grows late. Shall I run a bath for you to enjoy while I fix supper?”
Somehow, I wind up in warm water infused with orchid. Alone with my thoughts, I grip a hand to my throat where the caress of Castor’s lipsburn.
Whether you love me, hate me, or kill me in the end, I will cherish this time we’ve spent together.
Heat radiates in my face, in my chest—in mysoul.
It’s not fair. Saying stuff like that to me when he can’t lie is not fair.
My love, do you dislike my touch?
As my heart flutters, I swallow, and my own drunken reply thunders in the back of my head, foreboding, foreshadowing, a prophecy suggesting that I am completely and utterly doomed.
Sinking into the water until only the tip of my nose remains above the surface, I cover my blazing face with damp hands and try not to think about how deeplynicethis devotion is…or how deeply crucial therapy should be.
Chapter 15
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What? It’s not like I’m insecure or anything…
Castor
Me: What did you talk to my soulmate about?
Willow: If I wanted you to know, I wouldn’t have told you to go away.
Back pressed to the door of a room that is actually a closet, I sneer at my phone. Despite the fact I spent several minutes using a magic orb to readjust my eyes to light and have the dimness turned all the way up, my blinding device sears my seldom-used and deadly eyes.
For good measure, I’ve locked the closet door behind me.
I’ve also thrown up a barrier.
Or seven.
And possibly a dozen protective enchantments, too.
Never mind that my beloved soulmate is safely tucked away in her cage and sleeping peacefully with her pixie right now. Never mind that this isn’tmycloset. Or my palace. Or even a place in Faerie.
