“Of course. She’s the most recent member of the found family, not including you…ifyou’re actually supposed to be here.” Her head tilts. “Do you think you are? Or…do you think you’re something else, tangling up in a story that isn’t yours?”
“What…” I wet my lips. “What do you mean?”
“According to what I’ve heard from Zahra, you could see and hear the fae before Castor got to you. That’s not normal for humans. Humans can’t see past the natural glamour faeries have. Since you can, it wouldn’t be above Castor to take that fragile character of yours as an invitation to mold you into the partner he’s desperate to have.”
A nerve pinches, and my fist clenches at my side. “My character isn’t fragile.”
“Isn’t it?”
A lump sticks in my throat, pushing its way through my chest. “You have no idea what I’ve been through. What I’m running from. If Castor is or isn’t my soulmate, as long as he promises to protect me, he is a better option than the ones I’ve had for a long, long time.”
“Really?” A perfect dark brow arches. “What makes him better?”
“He feeds me.” Something aches in my stomach as I say the words. “Every day. Every meal.”
Willow swears. “That’s a low bar if I’ve ever heard one.” Her arms cross. “Do you believe he’s your soulmate? Do you feel uncommonly safe with him, in spite of everything? Like the fact he kidnapped you.”
Do I feel safe with someone who put me in a cage and who thinks stabbing people is fun?
She might as well ask if I’m insane just like him.
Nevertheless, I reply, “I feel safer with him than I have with others.”
A corner of her mouth tips up. “That’s the answer to a different question, Dani.”
In my memory, the phantom caress of his reverent fingers skates up my side. I push the sensation out of my mind and say, “No. I don’t feel safe with him. I’ve never felt safe with anyone.”
Willow nods, then she rises again and disappears into a back room. When she returns, she’s abandoned the knife in favor of a credit card. “Tell him you want to get a phone today. It’ll make sense for you to want Zahra’s number. Get everyone else’s from her if you don’t feel safe asking Castor for them. We’ll keep in touch.” When I grasp the card, she doesn’t release it until she’s said, “Text if you need me.Don’tcall.”
I swallow. “I won’t. I promise.”
She shrugs, flopping back onto the couch and lifting her book. “Castor’s unpredictable, as I’m sure you’re gathering. He’s also selfish, or so I’ve been told, which is why I find it charming he gave up his knife for your sake when he has many other options, that maybe you’d be less comfortable seeing. He’s a bit chaotic. And chaos doesn’t think of the consequences, but it’s clear—when prompted—he will slow down for you. If you’refrom somewhere messed up, at least you know how to navigate noxious atmospheres.” Her eyes hit mine. “That said, none of us know his limitations. The last time he was here, he had Zahra choose between saving you or keeping her baby.”
“What?” I whisper, as memories of Zahra gazing adoringly at her little Ash fill my brain. “He threatened her baby?”
Willow dips her chin once. “Although, I’m not surethreatis the right word, exactly. He’s the one who gave it to her, and I doubt he’d harm a single hair on that little ent’s head. He’s just not socialized properly. Two people I care about decided a long time ago he wasn’t a good friend and cut ties with him. That means something. Whether or not things have changed, I don’t know. People can change. I believe that. But he’s not come around enough for me to decide for myself what I think about him yet.”
My mouth tastes like acid. “You said you weren’t going to turn me against him. Aren’t you one of them, a faerie bound by their faerie rules and unable to lie?”
“I’m Zylus’s thrall. My existence is stopped to his time, so I’m still very much human enough to lie. However, I wasn’t lying. I’m not trying to turn you against Castor. I’m giving you information and options and access to people who will help you because you’re Zahra’s friend and we’re hers. If you aren’t his soulmate, he’s not allowed to manipulate you into being anything you don’t want to be. If you are…you need to break the cycle of the history that tells you to keep your head down. You’re not ever going to stand on firm ground with a man like Castor until you’ve embraced a power that has to match his. Soulmates are equally paired. So, that being the case, being with one is a choice. If you truly are his, you are as strong as him. You don’tneedhim to protect you. You don’tneedhim at all. If you’re his soulmate, learning that will come first.”
I can’t even picture myself as stronger than a man who doesn’t need his eyes to function perfectly well and who controls the very blood in his veins, commanding his body to sew back together at a moment’s notice. I whisper, “What comes after learning that?”
“Wanting him. Genuinely. My life is better with Zy. Not because I need him, because I’ve never needed anyone, but because I want him. Against every odd, I want him. I love him. I love being loved by him. Soulmates are a united force, brought together when both parties are capable of overcoming the last things that would keep them apart.” She brandishes a smile. “When you’re ready to accept what you are, everything else falls into place.”
“How do I—”
“Time’s up,” Castor says, materializing behind me. His hand falls against my hip instantaneously, pulling me toward him.
Slinking between our legs, a black cat pounces onto Willow’s lap. She chuckles as she pets the cat with eyes like Zylus’s from nose-tip to tail. “Indeed it is. Have fun shopping…and do try to remember: movie night is every Thursday at eight. Right here. You’re both invited to join us, whenever you’re ready.”
Chapter 13
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don’t know what to make of him.
A gentle breeze teases my hair while I sit on a bench outside the outlet mall Castor brought me to. In one hand, I’m holding my new phone—which I didn’t need to ask for—and in the other, I’m holding his—which I also didn’t need to ask for.
