One Month Later
Stacks’ mouth was all over mine. His hand was wrapped around the back of my neck, pulling me closer. I laughed against his lips because that’s what we had turned into over the last month—hungry. For time, touch, and each other.
“God, you’re so damn beautiful,” he said, brushing his thumb across my cheek before kissing me again. “I miss you the second you leave.”
“You just saw me yesterday,” I said, laughing softly, even though my stomach flipped at the words.
“That’s too long.”
His lips trailed from my mouth to my jaw, down to my neck. I pushed at his chest lightly.
“Nooo,” I dragged out, smiling even though I wasn’t serious enough. “I told you I have to go. I have to finish the final touches for Kennedi’s sweet sixteen. I’m already behind. You said to stop by after I dropped her off at school for a hug.”
“I know,” he said, but he didn’t stop. His mouth found that spot just under my ear that he knew made my body melt. “Five more minutes.”
I sighed.
“Stacks…”
“Five,” he repeated, kissing me again.
“Okay,” I whispered, knowing good and well that five minutes with him never meant five minutes.
Over the last month, five minutes had turned into hours. Phone calls that started at “good morning” and stretched until it was time to pick up Kennedi. Random pull-ups in parking lots just to talk. A million make-out sessions. A few fuck sessions. I told myself I wouldn’t cross the line again after each time, but still did it again.
The guilt came in waves. At first, it was barely there. Then it started screaming. The more I entertained Stacks, the louder it got.
Pleasure has a way of muting guilt and freedom convincing you that you deserve it. Emotionally, I was confused as hell. I loved my husband deeply. We had built a life, but Stacks felt like a version of Kairo I once knew. He looked at me like I was a woman.
Coffee knew about Stacks and she hated it in theory but loved me too much to make me feel stupid. She never cosigned it, but she never shamed me either. She just listened and sighed a lot, saying I was making her brain hurt. Meanwhile, life refused to pause.
Stacks and Kairo both wanted more time. Somehow, Kairo had slowed down. He was home more and wanting to do more things together. It felt like the universe was playing a sick joke.
I finally had what I begged for. And I was splitting myself in half trying to give two men pieces of me that only one was supposed to have.
“You think about me when you’re at home?” he asked softly against my lips.
I hated when he asked shit like that. I did all the time. The same way that I thought of Kairo the entire time I was with him.
“You’re ridiculous,” I replied.
“You do.”
“I really have to go,” I whispered this time, more serious.
Kairo was at home waiting on me with breakfast.Fuck.
Guilt slammed into my stomach so hard that I wanted to vomit.
He smiled, brushing his thumb over my bottom lip. “Go be great, then.”
He opened the car door, and stepped out.
“Lo.”
“Don’t get lost in your head,” he said softly. “You deserve to feel good too.”
And that was the damn problem.
