“If you want it to be…” I add, praying she does.
“I want little Serpent.” She strokes her flat abdomen. “I need seed to make babe. You have seed.”
My heart misses a beat. Is she saying— “You want me for my seed?”
She blinks at my brash timbre. “Why this make mad?”
My throat contracts around a pissed-off swallow. “Because here I was, foolishly hoping you still felt something forme.”
She keeps studying me, and it feels like she’s plucking me feather by feather, laying me bare. Finally, she asks, “You no want babe, Cathal, or you no want babe with me?”
I stab my hair. “I’m a Crow, Daya. Odds are, any child of mine will be a Crow. Like Fallon.”
She stares down at the hem of my black shirt that hits her mid-thigh.
“Didn’t consider that, did you?” I say gruffly.
She flinches.
“I’m guessing you don’t want my seed now.”
I will her lips to part and tell me that it doesn’t matter. That she still wants me and my Crow seed. But she doesn’t. Because it does fucking matter.
“I need to fly,” I mutter.
Her onyx stare rises back to my face. I don’t expect her to ask me to stay. I don’t expect her to tell me that it isn’t only my seed that she wants. I’ve no expectations yet I’m disappointed all the same when she doesn’t call me back or ask how long I’ll be gone.
If only my brother were still alive. I would’ve filled his ears with my pathetic anguish, but my brother can no longer give me advice, and my best friend is too busy convincing a bunch of idiot Faeries that he’s the righteous ruler of this land. My annoyance is mine alone to carry and sort through.
I stalk out of the apartment, the wooden door groaning as I slam it shut in my wake. I don’t shift immediately, preferring to pummel the stone with my boots. It’s only once I’ve reached the hatch that I allow my blood to turn me into a beast.
Perhaps that’s the reason the Cauldron didn’t mate us in this lifetime… Because her intended is capable of giving her a baby Serpent.
I soar over the Sky Kingdom until stars prick the heavens and clarity pricks my mind. I may always belong to her, but in this lifetime, she doesn’t belong to me. When I step back into the apartment, a dress I’ve borrowed from my daughter’s closet slung over my forearm, an indigo veil has fallen over Luce and steeped my chambers in shadows.
My heart expels a pained beat as I take in the spillover of pink strands on the padded leather arm of the club chair Zendaya dragged toward the window. Was she watching for me? I shake my head at the selfish thought. The only reason anyone ever looks out is because they find their surroundings lacking.
Though my throat feels wadded with wool, I call out her name to warn her of my return. She doesn’t stir so I set the dress down on the sofa and round the chair. Her cheek is pressed to the leather, her mouth parted around slow, rhythmic breaths, her lashes fanned out over her bronzed skin. Save for that pale dot in the middle of her forehead, with her eyes closed, she’s the doppelganger of the woman Meriam robbed me of. How cruel. Why couldn’t the Cauldron have given Daya another face?
With a sigh, I scoop her up and lay her on my bed, and then I stretch out beside her.
Tomorrow, I’ll set her free.
Chapter 24
Zendaya
Cathal is sprawled out beside me. I don’t know what his return means, the same way I don’t know how I climbed inside his bed. Did I sleepwalk or did he carry me? If it was the latter, does that mean he doesn’t loathe me for desiring his seed?
I tuck my hands between my cheek and pillow and watch him like he’s watched me since I stepped out of the Mahananda. He must sense my attention because his lashes snap up and he pivots his head toward me. A tussled strand collapses into his eyes. I reach out and smooth it back. He goes so still that even his chest no longer skips with breaths.
Unlike mine. “Why you leave, Crow?”
His lashes drop, shielding his still reddened stare. “I went to collect a dress from Fallon’s closet since yours is ruined.”
“You leave to get dress?”
“No.” His eyes shut completely. He must squeeze them for the skin around their outer edge grooves. “I left because I needed space to think.”
