His searing gaze finally lifts off his kitten. “I’m not fucking talking about seeing the two of you swimming.”
A dull buzzing resounds in my ears. “You saw him kiss me.”
“You were right. This was a mistake. I don’t know why I thought we could work together.” He eyes my door, then eyes Cruaih, probably calculating the best and quickest method to escape with a creature that cannot dematerialize to smoke.
I move across the room and position myself right in their path. And then I take blocking their exit a step further, because I don’t want him leaving here thinking that Enzo’s kiss meant anything to me—I lock the lattice doors and create a veil that hinders any wandering eyes from peering through the decorative openings.
“What are you doing?” he growls.
I walk back toward him. “I want to explain?—”
“I don’t want your explanation. We aren’t mates. You owe me nothing.”
“What you saw was Enzo trying to prove to me that my connection to him was stronger than my connection to Agrippina.” I stop an arm’s length from him, sensing that if I get any closer, it will send him surging back, for wild creatures do not like to be cornered. I’d know. I once was wild. “What you saw was a boy acting on some misplaced crush.”
“What I saw was a woman declaring her love to another man! What I saw was her kissing that fucking man!”
Cruaih ducks once more behind his forearm. I’m tempted to tell him to set her down before he crushes her, but I doubt he’d welcome my advice.
Still, I keep my gaze on her in case she needs rescuing. “Idolove him, but I love him like I love Fallon.”
His mouth twists in revulsion and he falls back a step. “That makes it all so much more revolting.”
“It does. And it was.”
“Yeah.” He snorts. “You looked so revolted, Daya.”
“You might’ve borne witness to the scene, but you didn’t bear witness to my thoughts.” Anger sours my palate. “I didn’t want the kiss.”
“Then why didn’t you bloody push him back! Why did you just…” His Adam’s apple jostles twice before he manages to blow out the end of his sentence. “Why did you just stand there? Why?Fuckingwhy?”
“At first, because I was shocked.”
He snorts.
“I was. You don’t have to believe me, but I’ve never lied to you and don’t intend to start today. I should’ve put an end to it immediately.” Enzo’s face suddenly layers itself over Cathal’s. I close my eyes to whisk him away. “But I didn’t, because…”
“Becausewhy?” Pain bleeds through his anger.
“I was almost certain he wasn’t my mate before he kissed me, but it was the kiss—the lack of…sparkthat erased all my doubts. I imagined he’d feel it and pull away. Naively, I also imagined that he’d only get closure ifhewas the one to put an end to it.”
Though I don’t voice my next thoughts out loud, they must be written all over my face because Cathal mutters, “Clearly, he didn’t get closure.”
On a sigh, I pry my lids apart. “No, but he did fall into Taytah’s bed.”
Cathal’s crooked nose wrinkles. I presume he knew about my Serpent and my grandmother for his face isn’t marred with surprise, only disgust.
“He might not like it, but he’s understood that I can never be his.” I stare at the crown I set down on the cushion that still bears the indent of the former queen’s body. “How I envy Lore. How I envy that the day the Mahananda made him other, it gave him a whole tribe.” My chest lifts with a deep breath that causes the braided cords of my gown to dig into my rib cage. “ThoughI feel incredibly blessed to have the power tomakeothers, I wish that the path to understanding it all had been smoother. I wish…” I lift my gaze off the crown and sweep it over Cathal, over the cords of his throat and the cliffs of his cheekbones, before daring to meet his guarded stare and confessing, “I wish I hadn’t lost you along the way, Cathal Báeinach.”
I want him to say that I haven’t.
I want him to set down Cruaih and takemein his arms.
But the Crow doesn’t speak and he doesn’t choose Serpent over cat.
I back up toward the doors. “Forgive me for locking you in, but I wanted to speak my piece before you flew off.” I palm the wood, recalling my blood, then open the door to free him.
Every guard stands to attention outside.
