“I lived with that woman for twenty-two years, Reid, and I loved her for every minute, for every second of those twenty-two years. So don’t fucking tell me I’m not well-placed to judge. Mamma may not be able to love out loud, but she loves. In her own way, she loves. And if you cannot see that, then you don’t deserve her.”
Reid’s head jerks back as though I’d slapped him. I sort of wish I could.
Everything all right, Little Bird?
Yes. Fine.I push away from the table. “I’m going to go find my uncle now. Do any of you know where he is?”
“On the esplanade with your father.” Mattia runs one hand through the thick blond mop atop his head before returning his palm to Syb’s shoulder and stroking her dark skin.
Before setting off, I address Reid once more. “Justus hopes the Cauldron will heal her mind.” Though I think my mother deserves better than Connor’s boy, whom she chooses to give her heart to is ultimately her decision, not mine.
“Justus?”
I let my friends fill in the gaps and walk over to my mate, who stands amidst a cluster of shifters, golden eyes trained on our table.Murgadh’Thábhainis so quiet that in spite of stepping lightly, my every footfall resonates as though I’d hooked Dante’s spurs onto my boots.
The memory of the dead king makes my thigh scar itch, and my fingers ball.
Before shifting and leaving the marketplace, Lore wraps an arm around my waist and tucks me against his chest. “Take a breath, my love, and put Reid and Agrippina out of your mind, for your father is going to need you greatly in the coming days.”
That cleanses my mind of all the little grievances and worries that are so inconsequential when a man is about to say goodbye to his brother forever. “I wish Cian would choose to stay.”
“Unlike his brother, Cian has no children to live for.”
My blood runs cold as I selfishly wonder whether I’ll be enough to keep my father from begging for eternal death if the Cauldron fails to return my mother to him.
Please let me be enough.
But most importantly, please bring back my mother.
Ninety-One
The sky is so bright with stars that it paints the gray stone of Lorcan’s mountain white. The only dark spots are my father and his brother, who sit side by side on the esplanade’s edge, looking out over the world like young boys on the cusp of adulthood.
Though Lore and I made no noise upon landing, they must’ve sensed us for they both turn.
Cian stands, dusting his hands against his leather trousers. He bends over and picks up a parcel wrapped in purple silk, and I know, without asking, what it holds. He hugs it to his chest as though it was Bronwen herself.
As he nears us, I find myself staring at his bare face. How different he looks without his stripes. His features are so much softer. I wonder if my father, too, looks soft bare of makeup.
Unlike Cian, my father doesn’t come toward us. He keeps staring out at the glittering ocean that clinches our kingdom. I catch his hand lifting to his face and staying there for a few heartbeats.
I may not have any blood siblings, but if I lost Sybille or Phoebus . . . Great Cauldron, I don’t think I would ever recover. When my nose begins to sting and my throat to tighten, I murmur to myself,Strong. Be strong.
“Have you changed your mind about leaving us, Cian?” my mate asks my uncle.
“No, Mórrgaht. My beloved awaits me in the Beyond.”
My throat burns with grief.
“I know Cathal has asked you to wait until tomorrow. Will you wait?”
“I cannot, Lore.”
“Cathal will need you if—”
“Don’t.” He closes his eyes. “Don’t ask me to stay, because if Daya rises from the Cauldron, I will begrudge my brother, and I love him—” His voice breaks and tears fork down his pasty cheeks. “I love him far too much to hold his happiness against him.”
“What if my mother doesn’t rise?” I ask softly, hoping my voice doesn’t carry to my father’s ears.
