We didn’t pretend it was safe. We never once imagined it was anything but hostile. But not being hunted meant those we cared most about were alive.
Until we did something to gather attention. Or maybe, our numbers alone did that.
Our mistake. Something we understood now, even if a little late. But we were ready to do something and while there wasn’t a lot that could take down a group of storms our size, we weren’t invincible. Eventually, storms run out of energy and die out.
We didn’t want to be the ones to die first.
But all that was for a future me to think about. Right now, with my family all home, safe under a single roof, I was pretending to relax in the pool. There was not a relaxed bone in my body but I was sure as fuck pretending.
The worst part was this sense of knowing it would all end. When we moved out, ready to strike against Silence, we would not be coming home the same as when we left. I tried desperately to convince myself that we’d not be fundamentally changed. It was one thing killing a mountainside full of monsters who were bent on abducting or killing us, whichever outcome they could get.
It’s another entirely walking into a place with the sole purpose to murder everyone inside. Knowing that they weren’t attacking first.
True, they weren’t innocent. I’m sure that everyone in that building has blood on their hands. But it would be the first time ever that anyone in my house has moved with violence against anyone. Even knowing it's necessary. Knowing that if we leave their attack unanswered, we would welcome more attention. That didn’t change how difficult this was. How the knowledge that we’re going to be killing people in cold blood really fucks with your head.
“Sweet butt.”
I opened my eyes to find Zilan fully clothed as he stood at the edge of the pool. Smiling, I shifted my body onto the surface so I could see him more clearly. “Hey, Zy.”
“What are you doing out here all alone?”
Shrugging, I slowly moved myself through the water toward him. “I’m relaxing. Can’t you tell?”
Zilan laughed. “Sure you are. I don’t hear a note of distress in your voice at all.”
I hadn’t realized my tone reflected my inner turmoil. But of course, it did. I was always known for wearing my heart on my sleeve.
Sighing, I shrugged again. “Okay, I’m pretending to relax. Floating on water is relaxing, isn’t it?”
He chuckled. “Sure, hun.”
I watched as Zilan reached over his head and pulled his shirt off. His pants fell next before he hooked his fingers under the waistband of his underwear and shoved them down while he kicked off his shoes. Once he’d divested himself of his socks too, he climbed into the pool and waded over to me.
His lips were soft as he kissed me, his hand tangling into my wet hair to hold my mouth to his. “What do you need to relax, baby boy?” he murmured.
For this whole thing to be done and behind us. We all survive. Unscathed.
Swallowing, I shrugged. There wasn’t something that could relax me right now. No matter how hard I tried or how badly I wanted it.
I was too scared of the unknown. The future outcome that felt more dooming than anything.
The hand that wasn’t in my hair twisted with my other, our fingers tangling together. I closed my eyes, resting my temple against his shoulder as we floated in the water quietly.
“Remember when we decided on three pools?” Zilan asked.
I cocked my head slightly. “The blueprints that I was helpless to read?”
His smile was beautiful. Reminiscent. “Those only showed two pools. But Arat insisted we needed a third in the yard.”
“We never built that one.”
“No. He settled on enough hot tubs that we could each have our own.”
I snorted. We had three. Not that many.
“I wasn’t sure why he needed so many. Sure, a hurricane likes water and gathers energy from being out to sea, but why all the pools here?” he mused.
“Because he wanted us to have plenty of space,” I said. “And the more pools we had, we had to increase the square footage to make that happen.”
