Voices sounded all around me. Maybe they were speaking to me, but maybe not. I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t even try to pay attention. The only thing I could think about was the possibility that I would never speak to Koh again. What was the last thing I’d said to him? I hope it was that I loved him. That I would always need him.
My lip trembled as I bowed my head to Notus’s shoulder, fresh tears falling from my eyes. What if I’d said something awful? What if the last thing I said to Koh had left him not knowing that he meant the world to me? How can I live with myself?
“Shh,” Arat said from behind me, his lips pressed to my ear. “I know for a fact that you didn’t say anything mean to Koh.”
Apparently, I was rambling out loud. “How do you know?” I asked between breaths.
“Because you don’t have an unkind bone in your body, baby. Every single one of us, and everyone we know, will always know that you are without a doubt the kindest, most loving person to walk this earth.”
I wasn’t, though. I could be better. If only Koh would come back, I would be.
“You are,” Arat insisted. Whether he was reading my mind or I was still spitting words out, I didn’t know. His body pressed tightly to my back, holding me to him. Folding us into Notus’s lap. “I need you to see yourself like the rest of us do, baby. I promise, you’re the best person we’ve ever known.”
A gasp made me spin my face into the light and force my eyes open. The bright glow was now a much gentler shimmer, emanating from where their hands were pressed to Kohara’s chest. I wasn’t sure who had gasped, but I stared at Koh.
Did his chest just rise? Was he blinking? Did his mouth move?
When his chest fell, I sucked in a breath, my eyes becoming impossibly round.
“What the fuck?” Koh croaked.
Hearing his voice made me sob all over. He was alive. He was fucking alive.
“Shh,” Laz said, gently pushing him back as he tried to get up. “Lay still, hot stuff. Still got some damage to repair.”
Koh grunted. I watched as he grimaced. Twitched. Swore. Gasped as his eyes went wide. This time I was sure many, many minutes passed before both Nephilim sat back.
Kohara didn’t move as he worked to calm his breathing. Finally, he opened his eyes again and took a breath. When he tried for one too deep, he let it out with a huff of pain. His hands went to his chest. “What happened?”
Lazarus reached for the blade and held it up.
My husband’s eyes went wide. The hand on his chest shook as he rubbed the spot where it had been. Maybe a phantom ache? Muscle memory of it being lodged there, immediately taking his life?
He closed his eyes and turned his head. “I don’t want to see it,” he whispered.
Laz nodded. Hadrian reached for it, and Laz handed it over.
“You’re going to be sore for a while,” Cobalt said. “Probably a long while. We pieced together all the—eh, torn bits, but it’s going to take some time to regain your strength.”
Kohara nodded. “Thank you,” he whispered.
Cobalt smiled, resting his hand on Kohara’s forehead. “Of course. Call if you feel weird at all. Even an uneasy feeling that something’s wrong. Alright?”
Kohara looked up with a frown.
“They’re obviously playing with new toys. We can’t be sure that they didn’t do something to their knives too,” Lazarus said. “It felt normal, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.”
“We’ll check on you tomorrow,” Hadrian said.
Kohara nodded, closing his eyes as his hand fisted over his chest. I stared at him, wondering if it was too soon to take him up in my arms to make sure he knows how much I love him. It is, right? Cobalt said he’d be sore for a while.
The Nephilim split up. Cobalt went to Tempest to tend to his wound. He was a scary ashy color that I’d have noticed sooner if Kohara hadn’t been dead.
“I knew you wanted an excuse to touch me,” Tem said, his voice weak.
“Always, stormy pants,” Cobalt said, his smile not quite genuine.
Lazarus stopped at Tara’s back. Their glows were softer this time, Cobalt’s brighter than Lazarus’s but neither of them bright enough to force me to look away as it overtook the area. My eyes flitted from one injured husband to the other, unsure where to focus my attention. I needed it to be on all of them.
