Hesitation cost me my escape plan. May and Savannah bustled up to the bar and asked for two Pinots, gushing about how gorge Pondside looked. By the time I’d filled two long-stemmed glasses and handed them over, Liam was standing before me, palms flat on the bar. He’d swapped his usual black V-neck for a black dress shirt, opened at the collar.
Would there ever come a day when I didn’t find him attractive?
Keeping my gaze on his Adam’s apple—I would not look any higher because eyes were a direct conduit to hearts, and I didn’t want him glimpsing all that was going on in mine—I asked, “What can I get you to drink?”
“Surprise me.”
His answer made my gaze bounce upward. So much for keeping my eyes to myself. “Since when do you like surprises?”
“I don’t but I trust you.”
“Really?” I raised my chin and crossed my arms. “That’s new.”
The girls sipped their wine, absorbed by my exchange with our Alpha. Suddenly, they both jolted. I imagined Liam had commanded them to leave, because a second later, they were gone.
“It’s my defense mechanism, Nikki. I push away people who get too close.”
“That’s not an excuse for acting like a hot-headed alphahole.”
“No. It’s not an excuse.”
A song ended and another one began.
“You did warn me, though,” I finally said.
His eyebrows slid toward one another.
“You told me to stay away. Told me you hurt all those you got close to. I didn’t believe you. Then again, I also didn’t believe I was too sweet. But as they say, you live and you learn.” I unknotted my arms, plucked a beer bottle from the little fridge beneath the bar, uncapped it, and placed it in front of him.
“Beer?”
I drummed my fingertips on the bar. “Surprises are overrated and much too often disappointing.” And then I finally walked away from Liam Kolane.
It didn’t feel good, but it felt necessary.
Chapter 65
Iwoke up with stomach cramps.Iwasn’t the one getting married, and yet my insides felt as twisted as wisteria vines. I assumed it was because of the looming solstice. I wasn’t in the right mindset for a mate. I had so much more healing to accomplish before I let anyone, blessed by Lycaon or not, anywhere near my body and heart.
By the time noon rolled around, my cramps had gotten so violent I could barely look at the platters of finger food Nolan dropped off at Grandma Reeves’s place. I’d eat after the ceremony, once the stars were bright and the crescent moon was high and my fate was mine and mine alone.
Ness’s statistics returned to me—thirty percent. I looked around the living room littered with gowns, makeup, hot irons, and animated bridesmaids. Out of the twelve single women in attendance, possibly four would get mating links at some point in their lives, and one of them would choose not to consummate it.
As though thinking about Ness had conjured her up, she arrived with Sarah and Storm.
“We come bearing gifts,” Sarah announced, a shopping bag thrown over her shoulder.
“Something blue?” someone quipped.
“Adalyn’s already got Nikki for that,” May said.
I rolled my eyes but smiled, because May wasn’t wrong . . . I was still quite blue. On the inside and outside.
Sarah smirked as she rooted around the black paper bag. “No. What Ness and I have to give you all is red.”
“Veryred,” Ness confirmed.
May clapped her palms as Sarah handed out black silk pouches to every girl in attendance. My mind automatically jumped to lingerie, and although I liked pretty underwear, having Sarah and Ness purchase some felt a little odd.
