I squeeze the envelope. “Is this your application?”
The beams of a car turning into the lot highlight the nerve fluttering in Ten’s jaw.
“There’s a mailbox right over there.” I jut my chin toward the street corner. “Want me to drop it inside?”
“No.”
“But you’re gonna mail it, right?”
The envelope crinkles in my tense grip. I ease up before I inflict irreparable damage.
“I haven’t decided.”
A gust of wind dances through the fringes of my sheer vest, making my thighs pebble with goose bumps where fabric meets bare skin. “Seems like you did.” I nod to the stamps.
“Angie, just toss it in the back, will you?”
For some reason, I can’t unglue my fingers from the envelope. Just like I can’t unstick the soles of my black cowboy boots from the pavement. I’m frozen, and so is Ten. But then he manages to move. He takes the envelope from me, his knuckles skimming my wrist.
His tongue wets his lips, making them glisten in the darkness. “You know what?”
My heart pops and sizzles like birthday sparklers.
“I’ve never made a good decision in my life, so here.” He places the envelope back into my hands.
I frown at him as another car turns into the lot, splashing the back of his head with light. His face is suddenly dark, unreadable.
“Are you asking me to choose for you?”
He nods.
My next breath catches in my lungs. “Why me?”
“Because I can’t tell if you want me to leave or to stay.”
I understand what he’s asking, and although I want to pitch the envelope into the gutter, I don’t want to make him stay… I want him towantto stay.
I spin around, stride to the mailbox, and push the envelope through the flap.
In a few quick strides, Ten’s at my side. “Angie!”
I think my heart might’ve slipped through the slot too, because it’s become real quiet in my rib cage.
“What did you do?” Ten tries to thrust his fingers through the flap, but of course the opening isn’t wide enough to accommodate his hand. “Angie, I thought—” He tugs on his thorny hair. “I guess I thought wrong.”
A lone cigarette butt blights the pavement’s smooth shimmer. I kick it out of the way, and it lands on the road, gets smooshed under the tires of a pickup. If only I could get rid of my feelings for Ten the same way… these feelings that have been ceaselessly disrupting the even tempo of my life. But every time I’ve tried to chuck them far, they return full force.
I meet his stony gaze. “Honestly, Ten, I don’t want you to leave.” My throat feels as dry as cardboard.
He calms, and I sense we’ve stepped into the eye of the storm. The winds will pick back up soon and they might carry him away, but for now they’re gone and have left him standing before me.
“Then why?” he asks huskily.
My heart starts thumping again, its rhythm slow, steady, steadfast. “Because it shouldn’t be my choice. It needs to be yours.Onlyyours. If you end up being unhappy here, you’ll resent me, and I don’t want that.”
His hands drop alongside his body. “I could never resent you.”
Once you find out I’m entering your mother’s contest you will.
