“My husband picked a Triple to win my hand, so it’s an honest question that deserves a yes-or-no answer,Fletching.”
Heat coursed through my veins as though I were made of angel-fire instead of blood. “My dream has always been to become a Malakim, to interact with souls, harvest them, and see to their safe return into the human world, but for a moment, becoming a Seraphim spouse held more appeal, so, yes, I picked a Triple, because I wanted to complete my wings in time to be considered by Seraph Asher. But this mission reminded me that helping sinners has never been a means to an end. I adore the adventure, the experience, the contact. I love to see the change happen over the course of weeks. Months. Nothing satisfies me more than watching someone hold out a hand they would never have offered before I entered their life.” I inhaled slowly, deeply. “So, to answer your question, I have no ulterior motive in asking you to unbind Jarod Adler’ssoul.”
Eve’s mother watched me and then she watched the air around my hips on the lookout for a falling feather. When none tumbled, her gaze arced back up. “Your honesty and empathy are commendable, but use those qualities to help other sinners. Jarod Adler’s score will not change.” She turned toward Asher and tilted her head to the side. “Right,Seraph?”
He leveled his turquoise eyes on me. “Right.” That simple word felt like the most eloquentslap.
I backed away. “By damning him, you’re damningme.”
“What are you talking about, Leigh?” He was back to using my firstname?
“I tie my fate to his.” I halted my retreat. “I won’t sign off until his status isreevaluated.”
Claire spread her wings as though to appear fiercer. “Are you blackmailingus?”
“My life matters as much as his, Seraph, and if to the Seven, that’s not at all, then so be it.” I pivoted before the reddening tips of my ears and the heat creeping into my jaw could reveal the desperation and fear strumming through my veins. For all my selflessness, I wasscared.
My chest felt too tight, my invisible wings too heavy, my gaze unfocused. I stopped running at some point and leaned against the wall of a deserted hallway, flattening my palms against the warm stone. I’d taken my immortality as a given, but there were no givens in thisworld.
I’d been born an angel, but perhaps, I’d die ahuman.
Just likeJarod.
Chapter 29
After the maelstromquieted inside my head and chest, I retreated into my bedroom. Celeste was sound asleep, air whistling through her heart-shapedlips.
Would she be proud of me or horrified by what I’d just done? Eve would’ve been horrified. Instead of annoying me, thinking of her saddened me. To say I was grateful she’d made me sign on to Jarod Adler would be a stretch, but I no longer loathed her forit.
I kicked off my shoes and carried them into the bathroom, sliding the door shut behind me so as not to wake Celeste. After rinsing the blood off them, I stripped and stepped into the shower, lathering my hair, body, and wings. The suds rolled over my impermeable but not invulnerable feathers. To think my entire life had been a race to earn them. What would I do now that I no longer had any finishing line to run toward? Would the Ophanim kick me out of the guild? Would I be forced to return to New York? Would I even beallowedtoreturn?
If angels refused me shelter, where would I live? My breath caught. No shelter meant no allowance, no protection. No allowance meant no food. They wouldn’t kick me out, would they? It would be too cruel a punishment. Unless they’d use my predicament to strongarm me into signing off from Jarod Adler. Great Elysium, I hoped their thinking didn’t align withmine.
Contemplating all the luxury I might need to give up, I turned off the tap, then dried my exhausted body with a towel that felt woven from celestialclouds.
After getting dressed in leggings and a boxy T-shirt, I packed a bag with the bare necessities and placed it on my nightstand. If they came for me in the middle of the night, I would at least be a littleready.
What I still needed was money, more than my remaining handful of twenties. I didn’t dare pad back out of the bedroom and wake an Ophanim, because what if they’d been filled in and given instructions to show meout?
I lay down on top of my covers and stared at the door, imagining it opening and shutting more than once, but the only thing that shut were myeyes.
* * *
My mattress dipped,and my lids flew open. I scrambled into a sitting position, gathered my knees against my chest, and seized mybag.
Celeste blinked her large eyes at me and touched one of my knees. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare youawake.”
My heart walloped my ribs so hard I panted like I’d run amile.
“What’swrong?”
Sensing I was in no danger, I relaxed my fingers around the strap of my bag before pulling them back toward me. “Did you just wakeup?”
“No. I’ve been awake for three hours.” She cranked her head toward the nightstand. “I brought you somecoffee.”
My eyes opened wider. “You’ve been out of theroom?”
“Um. Yeah. I was starving. On my way back, I stopped by the Ranking Room. I was hoping, well hoping and fearing—honestly, I don’t know how I’m going to survive without you—that your sinner’s score hadchanged.”
