Why was no one coming? I tried to extricate myself from his grasp to wrangle the phone off the nightstand, but Jarod’s griptightened.
“Since you can’t give me forever . . . then at least, give me now.” His low, stricken tone made tears swell behind mylids.
I ripped one of my hands off his jaw and pressed it over his chest, clawing through the dark curls desperate to breach skin and reach the failingorgan.
His thumb caressed the inside of my wrist. “Kiss me, Feather. I want to end my life . . . with your taste on mylips.”
I shook my head. “This is not the end. It’s not. It can’tbe.”
He smiled so sadly my disintegrating heart crumbled like a wasted feather. “If it’s not . . . then you can bet . . . that I’ll find youagain.”
I whimpered, dragging my gaze to the bullet wound. Maybe, I could plug it with fabric,or—
Jarod sputtered, and my eyes snapped back to his. When his forehead grooved, I pressed my trembling lips to his to swallow his pain and make itmine.
“Don’t leave me, Jarod. Please, don’t leave me,” I spoke against hismouth.
His thumb stroked my wrist with heartbreaking tenderness, and then his mouth whispered over mine as soft and chilled as an autumn breeze. I wedged our bodies closer, welding my skin to his, my pulse tohis.
“I love you,” I murmured, nudging his mouthopen.
His thumb stilled, and then his gripslackened.
My ears began to ring. “Jarod?” I dug my palm against his chest. Either my skin was growing numb, or I was missingeverybeat of his heart. “Nonononono. You can’t leaveme.”
His fingers fell away from my wrist, banging against the recliner before spreading open like a night-bloominglily.
“Nonononononono.” My cries bled into oneanother.
I kissed him again, willing his lips to move over mine, willing his lungs to expand, willing his heart to spring back intomotion.
Tears streamed off my chin and bled into his unmoving mouth. I prayed for a miracle, prayed my kiss would magick this incredible man back to life. But his mouth didn’t prod mine, his hands didn’t tangle inside my hair, his thick eyelashes didn’t flutter against mycheek.
Was this my punishment for giving up mywings?
How cruel fatewas!
My lips slid off his but didn’t leave his face. I kissed his stubble-roughened jaw before keening my agony against the cooling skin of hisneck.
The scent that had intoxicated and seduced me night after night curled into my lungs like spiny velvet—soft yetshredding.
I understood, then, why his mother had put an end to her days. How could one go on with a deadened heart? How had she lasted four years when four seconds already felt toolong?
I rocked back onto my heels, scrubbing the tears out of my eyes as I scanned Jarod’s bookshelves. When the letter opener glinted back at me, I rose, crossed the room, and clutched the cold metal, curling my anesthetized fingers around thehilt.
I’d already committed the gravest sin of all. What wasanother?
The angel was now asinner.
I returned to the recliner and climbed over Jarod, nestling in the cradle of his body, remembering a time when he’d held me so close I didn’t think he would ever letgo.
I stared at the knife, caught sight of my swollen green eyes in the blade. I tried to muster the courage to plunge it into my chest. I pressed the tip into my skin, but metal met bone. How had Mikaela doneit?
A bead of blood bloomed and trickled between my breasts. I’d need to deepen the cut to joinJarod.
I’d known we’d end, both of us Nephilim, but not sosoon.
Not likethis.
