My eyeswidened.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you again,Feather.”
His heart pounded into my clenched knuckles, the thunder in his body streaking intomine.
“So, what?” My voice wobbled. “You’re breaking up withme?”
“No.”
The rumbling in my chest quelled but didn’t dissipate. “Then . . . then what’s goingon?”
“I know you want to wait for me, but you’re going to ascend ahead ofme.”
“No!” I shook my head. “I’mnot.”
The anger drained out of Jarod so fast I thought it would puddle at hisfeet.
“We leave together or not at all,” I said, still shaking my head like amadwoman.
Jarod’s hands came up to my face, steadied it. “Shh.”
“I’m not signing off from you, Jarod Adler.Ever.” At least, no one could take that decision away fromme.
His eyes gleamed again, and I scavenged their depths for the source of this pain so I could uproot it once and forall.
“I’ll be right behind you,” he said, after what felt like aneternity.
“Stop talking like I’m going somewhere, because I’m. Not.Leaving.”
“Your wings are complete. They have been since lastnight.”
I opened my mouth but no sound cameout.
“After Tristan’s funeral, Asher stopped by to see how I was doing. Howyouwere doing. I’ve never been scared of anything . . . at least, not in a long time . . . but after Tristan tried to kill you, I was fucking frightened. Frightened that one day, when you had no more feathers to keep you safe, you’d succumb to my world the same way he did. The same way my mother did. And I shared my fear with Asher, asked him for his counsel. Feather, I thought up the worst scenarios”—he shuddered—“to make you hate me, but I was too much of a coward to enact any of them. When Asher handed me a solution, I tookit.”
“What . . . solution?” My voice trembled so hard the syllables knocked against each other as they tumbledout.
“Asher signed you off fromme.”
I gaped in horror at Jarod. “All those people we’ve beenhelping. . .”
The rain lashing his windows mirrored the pain lashing mychest.
“Please don’t be mad at me, baby. It was the only way I could think of to keep yousafe.”
Tears pooled and distorted his beautiful face. “It wasn’t your decision to make. It wasmine.”
The pads of his thumbs stroked over my cheeks, trying to catch the tears that fell toofast.
“I don’t want to leave you,” Isobbed.
He sighed, combed my hair back, then tracked his hands down my frozen body, and gathered it against his. “I know, baby.” His chin settled on the top of myhead.
“I hate you.” I waited to feel the jab of a falling feather. Yearned for it. None came, cementing my dread to my marrow the same way Jarod and Asher had cemented my feathers to my wingbones.
His Adam’s apple jutted against my throbbing forehead. “I hate myself more than you could ever hateme.”
I closed my eyes and cinched my arms around him. “I won’tgo.”
