His pulse leaked through his thumbs and drummed against mycheekbones.
“I don’t want to rush you into something you’re not ready for, Feather, especially if giving you pleasure causes you pain, but I also don’t want you to push me away because you’re scared of your people. Because if that’s thecase—”
“You’ll make me lie until I have no more feathers to lose?” I joked, but it wasn’t really ajoke.
Jarod’s gaze sharpened. “What would happen if you did lose all your feathers? Would it get rid of yourwings?”
The pressure of his palms and stare suddenly felt overwhelming, so I extricated my face from his grip, took a step back, and stared at the gray carpeting beneath our feet, tracing the edge of a discolored spot with my toe. I’d been willing to give up my wings to save Jarod’s soul, and then I’d ruined them to make sure I wasn’t ripped from Earth during the night, so my reaction to his question wasincongruous.
“I shouldn’t have said that.” He sank down on the edge of the bed, the mattress springs groaning underneath his weight. “I justloatheyour system and wish—I wish I could protect you fromit. Fromthem.”
But he couldn’t protect me, because if he stood between them and me, he’d get hurt . . . perhaps, irreparably so. “I shouldn’t be here, Jarod,” I said, staring at the dark locks of hair that were sticking out at odd angles around his head. “I shouldn’t havestayed.”
He whipped his head up so fast his neckcracked.
“I don’t want them to hurt you,Jarod.”
His head jerked back some more in surprise. “Me?” His tone was almost maniacal. When he started laughing, I realized he wasn’t taking my concernseriously.
“I’m not trying to be cute,” I said,frustrated.
His eyes still danced, but he sobered up, and then he pulled on my hand and towed me toward him until I had the choice between toppling ungracefully beside him or falling into his lap. Toppling would have been the safer option, but I’d forfeited safety the day I’d pushed my palm into my holo-ranker’s glass screen and my name had appeared over Jarod Adler’s three-dimensionalpicture.
He roped my waist to keep me in place, and then, in the most serious voice I’d ever heard him use, he said, “The only way they could hurt me would be by taking youaway.”
I traced the ridge of his brow, thinking about a long-ago conversation I’d had with Eve. I’d asked her if she believed in soul mates. Instead of asking me where I’d come up with that harebrained idea—I was certain she assumed I’d read it in one of my human books—she’d answered,Yes.
I’d been so surprised that I’d gaped at her for two solidminutes.
And it’s terrible when it happens, because it means the Malakim did a subpar job of wiping away the souls’ memories and giving them the blank slate they need to start their new lives. Usually those souls—the ones who remember—spend so much time hunting down souls from past lives that they don’t work on improving themselves. They just squander their time onEarth.
After that, I’d balked at her, but for a completely differentreason.
Maybe you shouldn’t be a Malakim,Leigh.
Wh-what?I’dstuttered.
You’re so governed by your love of love that sometimes I think it might not be the best calling foryou.
I’d gotten very defensive, then.Just because I’m a romantic doesn’t mean I’d disregard celestialordinations.
She’d come to sit on my bed and had hooked a hand around my shoulder.Leigh, I didn’t say this to upset you. I just don’t want you relegated to working as an Ophanim because you didn’t have the heart to scrub souls of their previouslifetimes.
“What are you thinking about?” Jarod asked, stealing me out of thememory.
“A conversation I had with a friend a long timeago.”
“Are you sure it was with a friend? You look about ready to punchsomeone.”
His comment gave me pause, because I realized that sending me to Paris wasn’t Eve’s first unsympathetic act toward me. For years, she’d made me doubt myself. Why had I been so intent on not seeing her for what she really was, which wasnot afriend?
“She’s the reason I’m here.” I traced the stitching in the hem of my T-shirt. “She suggested I take you on, because she must’ve known your score was locked and I wouldn’t be able to earn my feathers in time for—” I stopped talking, not thinking it wise to remind Jarod of my prior desire to marry thearchangel.
“In time for what?” When I didn’t respond, he imprisoned my restless fingers. “In time for what,Leigh?”
“Remember that bet I told you about?” I stared at the span of the hand cocooningmine.
“The one to marry another man? The one you had forty days to win?” He made a sound at the back of his throat. “How could Iforget?”
