“And you are not eveneighteen.”
“I’ll be eighteen nextweek.”
“Do not get me wrong, August is a fine young man, but you cannot entertain thoughts about dating him,querida. You two are not at all at the same place in your life. You are starting college next week. He has been out of college for years. He has traveled the world. Fought for his country. He surely has had many girlfriends, which means he will expect things from you. He will pressureyou—”
“He hasn’t pressured me into anything,” Imumbled,
“Yet. But it will come.” She patted one of my hands. “If you came to ask for my blessing, I cannot give it to you. And it is not because I want to hurt you, but because I want to protectyou.”
My bottom lip startedwobbling.
“Oh, Ness. Love is not an easy thing, and I cannot imagine a magical link makes it any easier, but you are still so young. The link will fade this winter, and then you will befree.”
The heat in my cheeks filtered into myeyes.
She sighed. “You like him very deeply, don’tyou?”
I swallowed. “I do. I’ve always likedhim.”
“Then wait a few years. If you still feel this strongly about him once you are done with college, you two willreconnect.”
“That’s in four years. He’ll be thirty-one. What if he gets married?” Ingrid’s face flashed in front of my eyes. I blinked heraway.
“If he feels the same way for you as you do for him, he will wait. The same way I waited for Frank, and Frank waited for me after his wife passed away.” She dipped her chin into her neck. “Besides, have you considered what reputation he willhave?”
There it was again . . . hisreputation.
When a tiny whimper broke out of me, she leaned forward, tugged the pillow out of my hands, and gathered me against her, her palm stroking myhair.
“Think of what people will say about him when they learn he seduced an underage girl. That is not a reputation any man wants to have. He will be judged harshly, and that judgment will cause both of you pain.” As I attempted to stifle my sobs against her slowly rising chest, she added, “Please, Ness, do not be mad at me,” she said this softly, as though her tone might mitigate my pain. “I cannot encourage this relationship—however magical—because you are too precious tome.”
Moment after moment passed in interminablesilence.
Hands coasting over my hair, she finally added, “But in the end, it is your decision, not mine. I can only advise you. And whatever you decide, you will always have mylove.”
And here I’d come for herblessing.
As I shed tears against her shoulder, I rehashed all that she’d justsaid.
I’d never much cared about what people thought of me, but I didn’t want the world to turn againstAugust.
Which left me with only one thing todo.
Wade back toward shore before I got in toodeep.
18
Igot homea little before dinnertime, having moped away the afternoon with Evelyn who tried her best to cheer me up with episodes of her favorite TV show and homemadebrownies.
An uncharacteristically quiet Frank drove me home. Not that I felt very chatty myself, so the silence was welcomed. I didn’t ask if he’d heard our conversation, because it wouldn’t change much if hehad.
I did a load of laundry, then turned on the oven and set the casserole Evelyn had prepared for me and Jeb inside. As I waited for it to bake, I took out my college course catalogue and circled the classes that held my interest, but my mind kept wandering back toAugust.
I needed to call him, but I didn’t want to break up with him over thephone.
Maybe I would stop by afterdinner.
I took out my phone to read the message he’d sent me when I was at Frank’s:Heard you were back. Want to grab dinner? Cole will be there. So no rule-breaking.:)
