I blew out a breath. “And this is how the world is different for men,” I muttered, shaking my head.
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that, a dishonorable man who’s uneasy about another man will be wary. But a dishonorable man who thinks he doesn’t understand awoman?He’s more likely to try to force her to his will, not less.”
“I’m not sure that’s true—”
“I am,” I said emphatically. “We’re not talking about good men, Voski. Men like that, they’re arrogant, but their pride is pricked really easily. If they think they know what you are, and they’ve got the upper hand, they’ll ignore you as a threat. But if they feel uneasy around you, if they think they need to assert themselves… that’s when things get dangerous for a woman. I can walk away from a guy like that at a tavern. But if I’m in the field and I need this man as part of my cover? Ihaveto convince him he’s already in control. Or he’ll force it on me.”
Voski leaned back against the desk again, his head tilted, staring at me.
“I’m not trying to be contrary, but this won’t work for me like it works for you,” I said.
“I don’t think you are. I’m just wondering if you’re right.”
“I am.”
He stared a second longer, then straightened again. “Let’s talk about this some more at the next session. I know you’ll walk through these obstacles differently than we do, the question we have to answer is, how we support you in that.”
“What do you mean?”
Voski reached down to grab his bag, then threw it over his shoulder and started towards the door, grinning at me over his shoulder. “I mean, you’re an anomaly. On that third scenario you were given, nine out of ten of ourbrothersidentify discreetly killing the mercenary as the first, and most likely, solution to the problem.”
I huffed. “What does the other one say?”
Voski snorted. “They usually consider seducing him.”
I spluttered, which made Voski laugh, but it also got me thinking as I was walking the halls at his side, hurrying to the dining hall, because I was starving, but still had training in the gym in an hour, the thought of which made my body ache. I sighed. I’d eat and rest, which would help.
But walking with Voski reminded me that I’d had a question for him for days that I kept forgetting to ask. So, I waited until we’d gotten out of the building and were crossing the big courtyard with no one else nearby.
“Hey, can I ask you something quick?” I murmured to him, pinching his sleeve to slow him.
He stopped walking completely and turned to face me. “What is it? Have you had a problem in the training?”
“No, no, nothing like that. I just got my orders and it’s obvious I’ll be leaving soon.”
Voski’s brows rose. “Already?”
I nodded. “I’ve been thinking about what happens with patrols when I’m gone. Like, can I tell Ronen? Can I warn him? It says not to tell anyone who isn’t a brother, but he knows about—” I cut myself off quickly as Voski tensed, clearly concerned I’d been about to utter the word,Shadowfang.
“Leave it with me,” he said. “You don’t say anything.”
“But, even if you and Gil stay here, they’ll be at least one dragon short, and—”
“It doesn’t matter, Bren. You leave it to those in charge to manage that. Furyknights are taken away from their squads for special missions or purpose-built squads all the time—and not even exciting ones. The Wing Leaders all have ways to cover things like patrols when some members are called away. Ronen will be informed when he needs to know.”
I leaned in and kept my voice low. “But you said most squads don’t have more than one—”
“Bren, hear me,” he said softly, but with a warning in his eyes. “It’s not your problem to solve.”
I sighed, but nodded, then followed when Voski started walking again.
“Whyisn’tRonenwithus?” I asked carefully.
Voski’s lips pulled up on one side and he looked down at me from the corner of his eye, his expression dark. He looked a little sinister and my skin prickled.
“To be sworn in, you have to show integrity even when you’re alone—to do the job that needs doing, even if no one is watching—matched with a mind and heart that will willingly do anything for the greater good. Ronen is a good man, and I learn a lot from him. But, he sees everything in black and white. What is good, is good. What is bad, is bad. He can’t imagine any circumstances in which doing “wrong” can be a help. He wasn’t made for deception.
