By the time we’d been there twenty minutes, a small circle of nobles remained gathered around us. I was no longer holding the queen’s arm. The Lady Faye led the questioning, but some of the others—both men and women—had begun interjecting with questions over each other’s shoulders.
Though I was tense, I soon warmed to the task of indulging their questions. I was reminded of Fair days, when we’d taken the wagon to the city and sold our farm wares for the season. When my parents found old friends who’d known me since I was small, but whom I only remembered by appearance. Their probing questions, and assumed familiarity was uncomfortable, but it offered plenty of opportunities to practice speaking to people like this—and how to phrase my position with the dragons, and Donavyn.
“…never imagined I’d be welcomed to this kind of work, but when God offers a gift, I wouldn’t dare deny it,” I said honestly.
There was a round of nobles making pompous noises of affirmation and sweeping, arrogant statements of their ownduties and responsibilities before God. But the Lady Faye’s eyes never left my face. And the next time there was a lull, she leaned in closer.
“Are you also gifted with themalebeasts, Brennan? Or is it only the female creatures who benefit from your talents?”
Several of the men burst into laughter. I stammered a moment as I caught the flirtatious and knowing undercurrent of her question. I didn’t know what to say.
Thankfully, the queen came to my rescue. “You see how delightful she is? A true innocent. Stop with your scandalous influence, Faye, and let the poor girl breathe. She has too much work to do caring for onecreature as it is.”
The double-talk and lascivious suggestions continued between the nobles, however, and the queen didn’t interject again. She did meet my eye for a moment with a smile on her face and one brow arched, but she quickly buried the expression in her wine goblet.
Although this banter made me deeply uncomfortable, it wasn’t hard to see why the queen had brought me here. These people were pompous, powerful, andbored,and the conversation very quickly turned into a competition for who could provide the most suggestive innuendo without starkly speaking about sex.
I had to choose whether to play the utter innocent—wide-eyed and shocked by their daring. Or hint at a less-than-naïve undercurrent.
But these were men and women I may see again in future. Presumably, eventually the nobles would hear of the female Furyknight, and know it was me.
I didn’t want to accidentally meet one of these men at an event and have him consider me a willing participant in this sexual play.
So, I held my smile, and let my cheeks heat, and generally kept my eyes low—but remained pleasant and cheerful. An innocent young woman, but one with a sense of humor and willing to be educated.
Dear Lord, I was starting to hear the innuendos myself.
Feeling all those eyes on me—surprisingly, the most predatory being Lady Faye—I began to see how the queen helped me, occasionally stepping in to divert attention from a question I might not know the best answer to, but also serving me up so that I could flirt, or be coy.
We stood there for hours, barely moving, because the crowd came to us. But by the end, when the queen claimed she was called away and would be taking me with her because she didn’t trust them not to steal me, my confidence had grown.
I may not understand the etiquette of these people. But now that I’d had a chance to watch them, I wouldn’t flounder next time. I had a better understanding of the rise and fall of their humor, and the sharp edge of their social cues.
Though, I did heave a sigh of relief when we stepped back into the hallway and the footmen ushered us back to the queen’s rooms.
I don’t know if she caught the sigh, or merely felt the tension leaving me, but the queen turned and smiled. “You see, Bren?” she murmured. “Rumors and whispers are food to these people. And you are the fire they need to cook. See yourself in that role, and you will be very successful,” she said, eyeing me from the side with a glance that held more thoughtfulness than I’d seen from her before. “Just be certain you don’t get thrownintothe fire and cooked as a tasty morsel. These men will vomit you out and then start on the next mouthful without pause.”
At that mental visual, a great deal of the confidence I’d been feeling drained from my toes.
And yet, I knew she wasn’t wrong. This was my job now—at least, when we flew to Fyrehold. I had to season myself to these kinds of people and become the meal that would hold them in thrall.
And I had to pray that I could accurately measure the line between flavor and flame, so that I wasn’t swallowed up in the process.
40. The Hunger of Fear
~ BREN ~
Thankfully, the queen kept some of her maids available to help me undress and take down my hair this time, so when I returned to the Keep, it was with a large, brown-paper package tied with string that held the dress, carefully rolled with pleats flat. I doubted the seamstresses would have time to make more than two dresses, so I’d keep this one precisely as it was.
My chest warmed at the thought of what Donavyn’s expression might be when he saw me in it.
I had missed patrol, but that only meant that I had time to add the package to my fly-bag at the stable, take my dirty leathers to the laundry, and finally take a late lunch.
I wasstarving.I’d managed to consume two small cakes at the audience with the queen, but nothing substantial. My navel felt like it pulled tight against my spine.
That afternoon I met Voski and Gil for further training with Akhane in camouflage, and some discussion of the logistics ofsubterfuge so Gil could plan the following day with Ronen. Apparently, I was to learn how to establish a base in any town or city, and how to prepare exit strategies, and a safe house in an enemy city.
I got Akhane back to the stable just in time for dinner, then rushed back for another meal with my brothers. I was still wary that I’d now been sought twice in the stable, and if the wrong person came looking too many days in a row and didn’t find me there, questions would be asked.
