‘You’ll always be a child next to me, Donavyn,’Kgosi said kindly.‘But a son I am very proud of. Speak, Donavyn. Purge the darkness. Bring it to light—we will face your fear together.’
I shivered, but something in me was frozen. I couldn’t make the words come.
‘Come, Donavyn. You know this is needed.’
I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, gripping the neck straps so hard my palms felt like they might split.‘I hate him.’
‘Who? Name him, Donavyn. Leave nothing unturned.’
‘Ruin,’I spat through the link.‘I hate him, Kgosi. It isn’t just rage. It isn’t righteous anger. Idespisehim—for what he took from her, and for what he stole from me. From us. I want nothing more than to stand toe-to-toe with him and show him that I know the sick darkness of his soul—and I want to watch him fear when he sees me coming to take his life from him, slowly and painfully, because it’s what he deserves!’I snarled, shaking with the fury of it all over again.‘I want to put him in a position where he is overpowered and outmatched, where he sees his own destruction coming, and he can do nothing but feel helpless—I want him to feel what she felt, and I want to be the one to do it!’
Kgosi rumbled gently.‘You are not the hand of God to deliver death, Donavyn. You are, however, her mate.’
It wasn’t the response I’d expected from him.‘What does that mean?’I muttered.
‘It means that we are given to them for their protection—not from their own strength. But from those that would harm them. That is an honorable duty, undertaken daily. It is not revenge. Revenge will only hollow your heart, steal your joy, and ultimately remove you from unity with your mate—and me.Seek peace with your mate. Seek a clear conscience in your work. Let the Creator decide whether you are to be the executioner’s hand—and when—or not. And accept His choice.’
And once again, I knew he was right.
The question was, could I listen? Could I accept that? And what would I do if I couldn’t?
37. Grovel
~ BREN ~
I sat with my back to Akhane’s belly, hemmed in by her bulk, her legs curled in and her tail curled around her legs, like a barn-sized cat.
‘He loves you, Little Flame.’
‘I know. I love him, too. But he was so angry—like I’d done something wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong!’
Akhane gave a comforting rumble and croon.‘The males of both our kinds see every problem as one to be fixed with their strength.’
I hesitated.‘Does Kgosi order you around as Primarch when he doesn’t like what you’re doing?’
‘No,’Akhane said sweetly.‘But that is because I do so little to which he could protest,’she said, with a small huff of laughter.
I snorted.‘I guess I’m not perfect like you.’
‘Oh, Bren. I’m far from perfect—I can be mistaken, or angered, too. At times I am fearful. But our dragon lives are less scattered than your human ones, I think.’
I sighed and closed my eyes, trying not to relive the moment whenthat wordhad crossed Donavyn’s lips, because each time I replayed the memory, it pierced my chest like a blade.
Now that I’d had time to calm down, I knew he hadn’t called me that. But all I could hear in my head was the echo of my father’s voice when he learned I’d given myself to Ruin.
He’d had flashing eyes, and powerful anger, too.
He’d claimed he was protecting me, as well.
‘Do not paint your mate with the sins of other men, Little Flame,’Akhane said gently.‘He carries responsibility only for his own offenses, not theirs.’
“I know,” I sighed. “It’s just that he’s always been so patient. I didn’t think he’d ever speak to me like that and…”
I hesitated. I didn’t know how to articulate that this argument dredged up the feelings I’d had that desperate night I’d decided to walk all the way to the Keep to find Ruin and prove my father wrong.
Except, he hadn’t been wrong.
That niggling whisper wouldn’t let me go.
