My frustration lay in the fact that I couldn’t reveal this knowledge to any of the others without also revealing my bond with Bren,andher frightening, painful, and deeply personal past.
Of course, there was also a part of me that didn’t wantto, because I didn’t want anyone else to steal the satisfaction of those assholes’ deaths from me.
That thought pressed a dark, heavy weight on my chest.
I should tell them. All of them. We should, Bren and I. If any of these men were called out and crossed paths with the offenders, they’d trust them. And that would be my fault.
But then I remembered Bren, weeping and shaking in my arms, her cheeks pale, but eyes red. Clinging to me.Beggingme to turn away from vengeance, and let her live without the specter of this hanging over her head.
Beggingme not to leave a question in the minds of the Furyknights about how and why she’d been selected for the Furyknight pin.
Beggingme to let her prove herselfdespitethose bastards, not be forever tied to them.
And I couldn’t deny her.
She was desperate to move beyond her past and be measured only for her conductnow.
I understood that. I knew she’d fought prejudice and sabotage and idiocy. I understood why she wished to leave this behind.
But the truth was, while it might be behind us now, it snapped at our heels and chased us into the future.
As I emerged from the underground and started through the forest towards the clearing where Kgosi waited in the creeping dawn, my mind and heart were a jumbled mess. But I was clear on one thing: When I got my hands on the Furyknight Ruin Galdec—the young man the dragons namedTalon—that I had personally trained and sworn into the Shadowfang, it would be his last day alive. And while I was not a man given to bloodlust, there was a grim satisfaction in envisioning the moment his eyes glazed in death.
‘That’s the thing about you humans—so certain of your ferocity despite your frailty. Like small kittens, hissing.’
I rolled my eyes, but my chest squeezed. I’d forgotten I was within range of Kgosi and needed to guard my thoughts. Defensive, I snapped at him.
‘And that’s the thing about you dragons… so fucking self-righteous,’I shot back far more bitterly than I’d intended. There was the distinct sensation of Kgosi ruffling his wings in indignation and my heart sank.‘Kgosi, I’m sorry. I’m just weary and—’
‘There’s a darkness in your heart, Donavyn. And a weight on your shoulders. What burden do you hide, even from me?’The gentleness in his tone was far more difficult to deflect than his pompous sarcasm.
Cursing to myself, I mentally scrambled. I’d been careful to keep those vengeful thoughts away from my dragon, cordoning off the corner of my mind and closing the door to him. We were all capable of it—hiding things from our dragons. But Kgosi and I had enjoyed such rich unity and open hearts for so many years, he couldn’t help but sense the struggle in me.
Hiding from him was mentally taxing, and contributed to my shortened fuse, alongside a grating in the bond.
But my dragon was both wise and fair—and the Primarch of our herd here in Vosgaarde. He’d already cautioned me against the revenge on my mind in the first hours after we’d discovered Ruin’s betrayal of Bren.
Kgosi knew I was still angry at Ruin and his brothers who hurt her. He knew them, and their dragons, though, like me, we were too distant for any communication. He’d already expressed deep concern and an intention to investigate when the squad returned.
But his patience grated on my nerves almost as badly as my burning desire for revenge.
To distract him from his question about me, I deflected back to them, and our responsibility as leaders.‘Have you heardanything from the other dragons about ourfriendswho know my mate?’I asked darkly, as if it were the response he was looking for.
Kgosi huffed.‘There’s no word from among the herd. Like us, they await their return. I prefer to wait until I can speak with them directly anyway. If there is anything amiss, I will find it. You can rest assured of that, Donavyn.’
I nodded and sent him a wash of my gratitude and confidence in him.‘I know. Thank you. And I meant it when I said I was sorry. That was thoughtless of me.’
‘And yet, you didn’t answer my question. You shield a dark corner of your heart and it weighs upon you, brother.’
I sighed, and started to jog so I’d reach him more quickly.‘Your concern is touching, but this is between my mate and I.’It wasn’t entirely true, and my chest pinched at realizing I’d deceived my dragon. That pinch turned to a heavy weight as I turned that over in my mind.
Usually, if a Furyknight’s thoughts or memories were obscured from their dragon, it was for benign purposes—simple dignity. Privacy. Still, the same skills used to create privacy in our minds could be used for deceit. I discovered it carried a heaviness, though. A weight thatcouldn’tbe hidden from my dragon.
When I reached the clearing where Kgosi waited for me, I scratched his eye-ridges and apologized again for my cutting words. Kgosi leaned into the touch, but sighed.
‘You carry a burden. I do not like it, Donavyn.’
‘There is war on the horizon, I carry a new bond, a new mate—who rides into danger—and I’m still learning how to balance all these things, Kgosi. I’ll have to ask for your patience.’The words were all true. But they weren’t the whole picture.
