My jaw tensed at her no-bullshit callout.
“And sure, you made some insanely stupid moves to do that, but it’s romantic as hell. So march your sculpted surfer butt over to that uptight god and tell him you want a taste so you can be his love slave for all eternity.”
“Miranda!”
“Aaron!” she yelled back, mimicking my tone.
I collapsed onto the couch, slumped over where I sat. “He doesn't want me.”
She crossed her arms. “Bullshit.”
My thoughts darkened as I remembered the electric spark sizzling between our hands when they touched in his office.
I was right there.
I basically put myself on a platter for the taking, consequences be damned. But that was the thing. Timothy feared consequences and mess almost more than he feared his desire for me.
“I already went to see him,” I informed Miranda.
Her arms dropped as some of the steam she’d been rolling over me evaporated. “What happened?” she asked, her voice softer now.
I shook my head, unable to forget the invisible wall he threw up between us. “He doesn’t want to fight for me.” A lump formed in my throat. “Not when it could make waves. Not when it interferes with the balance between gods and politics. I’m not w-worth it.”
Dammit. The uncontrollable stutter only tripled the pain crushing my chest.
Miranda sat next to me this time, her shoulder pressed against mine. “He loves you, Aaron,” she said quietly. “He’s gotten even more uptight and fastidious since you left. Like if he threw himself into work, it would make him forget. But anyone would know he couldn’t. Not you.”
The lump in my throat doubled, and my nose began to sting. She was trying to help, but what she said only made things hurt more.
“I thought if I became like him, if I became unbreakable, he’d feel safe enough to take the leap.” My gaze darkened. “I was wrong.”
Miranda licked her lips before biting the lower one, looking off in thought. “I used to be a lot like him. Unwilling to bend the rules, unwilling to bend myself for anyone, afraid I’d break. That everything would fall apart if I let myself feel vulnerable around someone else.” Her voice cracked on the last words.
“Then you met a crazy guy in a basement and said fuck it, the sex is too good to care?” I taunted, knowing very well who she bent herself for.
Xander had been a crazy, snarling mess, and every night while she was trying to put him out of his misery with Bob—the god-killing blade — she was also falling for him.
Xander didn't care that she was human, but it became a non-issue when he was drained of his power and became mortal himself.
She punched my arm. Again, I whined as I touched the spot she hit, pretending it hurt.
“No,” she growled before her expression softened. “Well, a little, but a relationship with a god...it’s a lot. I didn’t take that lightly, and neither does Timothy. He just needs...time."
“Welp,” I said, slapping my thighs and standing. “Time is all I have. But right now, I have to head to rehearsal for my next show,” I lied even as I led her to the door. “It’s going to be a doozy. Can I count on you to be there?” I waggled my brows at her.
“Wouldn’t miss your dumbass being suicidal for the world,” she said, rolling her eyes before heading out.
As soon as the door closed behind her, dread filled me from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.
I’d been working out at a near manic pace, not only to take the edge off my frustration with Timothy, but to take the edge off another kind of frustration.
A thousand pull-ups and I’d still feel the creep of unrelenting cold stiffen my muscles the way it invaded me now. It felt like dying. Again.
I couldn’t ignore the freezing pain spreading through my entire being or the desperate thirst that had me in a chokehold. My eyes squeezed shut tight even as my throat seized with impatient need, my cells turning in on themselves to cannibalize each other.
It took all my willpower to close my hand around that doorknob, twist it, and leave.
The hallway stretched before me with mocking invitation, each step on the burgundy carpet muffled as I trudged the familiar route to the elevators. The distant chime of the bell echoed hollowly. My limbs felt leaden, my movements sluggish against an invisible current as I took the familiar route.
