The energy bill is in the mix. When I see the number on it, I stagger back, the breath punched out of me.
The amount stares up at me like the barrel of a gun. It’s a figure so high, it has to be a typo.
The number equates to three months' worth of my rent. A strangled cry escapes me as the paper crumples in my hands. My world, my life, is closing in around me and the pinch hurts.
The inside of my fridge is almost as empty as my bank account, which I can no longer pretend isn't overdrawn. I've been stretching every dollar, skipping meals, living off ramen and hope—but it seems even hope is a currency I can no longer afford. The energy bill is the last straw. I stare at the numbers, willing them to change, to drop a zero, anything that would make this less of a disaster.
With no income on the horizon, panic starts to claw its way up my throat.
My logical brain tries to reassure me we will get the landlord to pay the bill. It’s his fault after all.
His phone number glares up at me from the ratty sticky note on the fridge. I dial, the phone pressed to my ear, a part of me already resigned to the futility of this call. But I have to try.
"Mr. Drescher," I start, trying to keep my voice level, "the thermostat is broken,again, and now I've got this insane energy bill that I?—"
He cuts me off with a grunt. "Complain, complain, complain. You young folks are so fucking entitled." His oily voice slides through the speaker like something rotten.
I press on. "I can't pay this bill, and it's your responsibility to?—"
But he's laughing now—a cruel, wheezing sound that smells like cigarette smoke even through the phone. "My responsibility? Look here, Miss Evie, you've been nothing but trouble since you moved in. I've had three noise complaints about you this month alone."
"They're not my fault—" Okay, a couple of them were my fault from what Shadow was doing to me, but I was attacked in my own home.
"Save it," he interrupts again. "You don't like it, you move out. Good luck finding a place this cheap anywhere close to this part of town."
I hang up, the click of the call ending louder than it has any right to be. He’s an absolute miserly dick, and he wouldn’t spit on me if I was on fire.
The walls of the apartment close in, the heat a suffocating blanket of my own failure to escape this cycle of poverty and misery.
I walk to my bedroom and do the only thing I can. Crawl under the bed and pull myself into a ball. It’s slightly colder under here.
Eviction notices are just a matter of time, and where would I go then? The street? A shelter? The options spin in my head, each more sickening and hopeless than the last.
I have no job. No allies. Nowhere to go for help.
"Shadow," I whisper to myself because Shadow isn’t here. Even if he was, he can’t help me. He doesn’t deal with money, employers, or broken thermostats. He can’t fix the trust I’ve broken, Miguel’s cracked head, or get me my job back.
But if he could just take me with him, take me to the world of monsters through whatever doorway or portal there is, I would be free of all this. I could start over again. Start a life as a true monster.
The Nexus. I have to find the Nexus. Shadow said the Nexus is a person as well as the key between worlds. If I find them, I can use them to get through the doorway.
The next time Shadow comes, I will force the information out of him. He may try to keep me at a distance, but he can’t stay away. He can’t deny me this.
Take Me With You
It’s three more days before Shadow comes. And when he does, I’m ready.
"What happened?" It’s the first question out of his mouth. Our psychic link must betray some of my strong emotions. For the last seventy-two hours, I’ve been volleying between depression, hopelessness, but more often than not, I land on anger.
Anger at how no matter what I do, my life continues to be an absolute shit show of disappointment, heartbreak and hardship.
"Take me with you," I say. I grab the bag in the corner of the room. I already packed it with all my necessities and keep it on hand like a go bag. Because I sure as fuck am ready to go.
If he doesn’t take me this time, I’ll rot here. I’ll die here, human and helpless and hated.
"Evie, what’s going on?" he asks slowly.
I raise my chin, suddenly feeling like a defiant teenager. "Things aren’t working out here. I can’t stay any longer. This time, you are taking me back with you."
