Embarrassment threatens to take over, but instead, I lean in. This is who I am, this is what I want, this is what I feel. If he can’t handle it, he’ll have to leave… again.
But I don’t think he will.
"Shadow," I breathe, even as I slide my fingers out and in. "I need you." My voice shakes.
"Evie, you have to stop," Shadow warns in a low voice. "This is forbidden. We cannot."
I don’t stop. Instead, I fix him with a hooded stare as I slowly lick my lips. I’m like a woman possessed, stroking the fire and wetness inside me until I feel tingles dancing up my spine.
"Evie." That same warning tone possesses an unsteady pitch this time.
I moan his name and throw my head back.
"Evie, stop," he commands, his shadow tentacles snapping around my arms. He yanks my hand away, pinning my wrists above my head. I lift my knees and spread myself before him. My panties cover my sex again, but I know the sheer material is sodden with my desire—my desire for the monster.
"Harder," I say, licking my lips again. I suddenly feel as if I’ll die of thirst.
"What?" he asks, confusion evident in his voice.
I jerk my hands, testing his grip. Shadow reflexively tightens his hold on me, pulling my arms at an uncomfortable angle.
"Yes," I hiss between my teeth, feeling more desire seep from me as I buck my hips.
For a shadow monster who eats hearts, I can tell he is shocked—scandalized, maybe. I see it in the wide set of his eyes, the way he hesitates to respond. Or maybe I know him better than myself.
Darkness fills the corners of the room, somehow highlighting his body, as his eyes turn red again. "Is this what you want? Fora monster to hold you down and do terrible, depraved things to you?"
"Yes," I hiss again, my hips bucking more frantically. Oh God yes, please, let him give me what I need.
His body crawls over mine with surprising and unsettling speed. The exact off-kilter pace a horror movie would depict a monster. But his abrupt movement only excites me.
Shadow is in my face. My legs reach up to entangle around his waist again, but his tendrils snap out, locking around my ankles, pinning me to the bed.
I want them around my thighs too. I moan in pleasure. His touch is everything, and I want it everywhere.
His mouth draws even to my ear as he says, "I would have thought you’d had enough of that."
It takes a moment for his words to penetrate my brain. When they do, an icy drip starts in my gut.
With the same suddenness, he releases me, and is across the room once again.
I swallow over the thickness in my throat, suddenly ashamed of what I feel—the mindless, white-hot need for him.
"How could you say that to me?" I want to demand an answer, to scream it at him, but it comes out a strangled whisper of betrayal.
This isn’t my past. He’s not David. I’m not who I was.
Shadow doesn’t speak for a long moment, turning his gaze away. Either he can’t look at me because he’s ashamed of me, or ashamed of what he just said.
I get to my feet, though my knees are shaky from either the sexual desire or the rage pounding through me.
"This is not what I came here for," he says dismissively.
A humorless laugh barks out of me. "Then what did you come here for?" I stalk over to him, getting in front of him. I can’t hidefrom the twisted, fucked up girl I am. So why should he get to look away?
My cheeks burn with shame even as I stare him down.
Finally, lifting his gaze to mine, I notice he takes his time dragging his hooded eyes up my body. He wants me, I know he does. I bet if I reached past the shadows clouded around him, I could find that hardness again and coax him to me.
