I look up to see Shadow’s face. His eyes are closed, his mouth open, and he’s shaking. There’s a glaze of sweat coating his forehead. He’s panting like he just ran a marathon.
I reach down toward the hardness I know must be killing him. "Here, let me?—"
"No," he roars.
In the blink of an eye, I bounce on the couch and he’s across the room, facing away from me.
"Wh—what is it?" My mouth won’t work properly. My throat is dry and I’m still shaken.
"We should not have done that, Evie," he says, still not turning around. Smoke begins to build around him in big puffs, until he is half engulfed in shadow.
The words "I’m sorry" balance on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t say it. I won’t.
"I’m not sorry," I say instead, running a hand through my sweaty hair. "I want to be with you. I can’t help it."
"You must." His voice is fully gravel and fire now.
"Stop sulking and look at me," I challenge.
At that, Shadow whips around. "Evie, we cannot. Wewill notever again."
"I know you want me too. I felt it." My hands are out as I plead with him. Yet again, I realize I’m being fucking pathetic,but I can’t stop myself. The way I need him drowns out all my pride.
"I came here to warn you." His tone is icy anger. "You aren’t safe. I’ve drawn too much attention and there aren’t enough guards on the gate."
Still flushed from desire, I try to push through to my logical side. "Is this the same guard that hunts you? What gate? Attention from whom?"
"From the others." His voice drops down to an ominous tone, only answering my last question.
The other monsters. My heart picks up speed again, but this time from fear. A shiver runs up my spine as I think of the redeye mawterror that sliced me up trying to drag me under the bed.
"Then stay with me," I plead, rolling all my needs into one.
Shadow shakes his head. "I cannot."
"Then take me with you." My voice is louder now, laced with frustration.
It’s not the first time I’ve asked, but I’m just as desperate as those other times.
Something has changed between us. He has to know that.
"I cannot."
He does not rise to my fervor.
My emotions suddenly go flat as my spine stiffens. "Then what do you expect me to do?"
There is a long pause. "To be careful."
I throw up my hands. "I’m too old for this cryptic bullshit, Shadow. You came to warn me? What good is that if I don’t know what is coming for me, or why even? Why me? Who the fuck could possibly care about me? No one cares about me."
"Evie," he growls.
"And you say to be careful, but I have no way to protect myself. So the only reason I can imagine you coming here is because you miss me. Because you want me like I want you.Because you were jealous. Because you knew he was touching me. But did you know I was thinking of you? Wanting you?"
His eyes turn red. "Even if I wanted such impossible things, we cannot, Evie."
"Because you took care of me as a child? Is this some kind of guardian guilt? Because you haven’t seen me in years and I’ve grown up. Surely, you’ve noticed. In fact, I’m positive you’ve noticed." I send a pointed look at the shadows, veiling what I know must be the painful hardness of his desire.
