"What does it look like happened? I got moved to a new home."
"No." The monster struggles for words. "Something else happened."
"What, are you psychically linked to me or something?" I taunt, rolling over onto my other side.
His silence says it all. I shut my eyes tight.
Fuck.
That explains a lot in hindsight, but I never quite made the connection.
Pushing up off my bed, I fling open the door and make my way to the living room. David and Jean’s room is on the other side of the massive house, so I don’t have to worry about being quiet.
"If you were psychically linked with me, you would’ve known I wished you’d come sooner. But I don’t need or want you here now." My words are cutting.
I go to the fridge and pull out a soda. It’s always stocked and I can help myself to anything I want, anytime. I try to tell myself this is the sweetest setup I’ve ever had. But deep inside, I don’t believe myself.
The shadow monster stares at me with a piercing gaze. "I want to know what happened," he says sternly. "And why you feel this way. You don’t have to be alone."
"I’m always alone." My fingers dig into the perfect marble countertop. "I don’t get a choice about where I end up, but I sure as hell can decide who gets to be in my life. And right now, that’s nobody. Not you, not anyone," I hiss, my voice brittle but low to avoid waking David and Jean.
Popping the tab of the soda, I take a long, cold sip, as if it could wash away the filth clinging to my soul.
"Even when I’m not here, I’m with you," Shadow says, taking a step closer, his voice tinged with desperation. "I feel... I feel the whisper of your emotions, your fears, your loneliness. They call to me, and whether it takes me a day, a week, or longer, I’ll always come for you."
"Whispers, huh?" I roll my eyes, pressing the cold can to my temple. "Your timing sucks, you know that? Your supernatural sensitivity or whatever it is, is a little late to the party. I thought you were my friend, but you’re not."
"Evie."
"Take me with you," I say, hearing the sudden desperate plea in my voice. I set the can on the counter, my hand shaking. The words fall out before I can swallow them back. "Wherever it is that you go, take me with you. I don’t care if it’s hell, just take me with you."
Any hell is better than this place, if I could just be with Shadow.
Shadow pauses as if enduring a weighty burden. "I can’t," he finally says. My hand encircles the can again. It crunches slightly under the pressure of my fingers.
"Can’t or won’t?" I need it to be won’t. Need to know he’s choosing not to save me.
"Evie—"
"I can’t call you when I need you," I cut him off, not able to bear to hear the answer because it won’t change anything. "Nothing about this is on my terms. It’s always on yours. It’s not fair."
"Evie," Shadow says, his voice softening, "I wish I could tell you why I can’t always be there, why there are things about me that have to remain unknown. But know this: even in my absence, you’re not alone. I will always find my way back to you."
I sigh, staring into his strange, faceless features that have become the most beautiful sight to me.
His eyes are the only things I can make out in the inky blackness that forms his body. Despite the defenses I’ve put up, something about him reaches through. A strange kind of understanding, a mutual loneliness perhaps.
It scares me how tempting it is to believe him, to keep letting him in.
"Don’t make promises you can’t keep," I say finally, my voice tinged with resignation and something more vulnerable, something I won’t name. Because if he breaks them, there’ll be nothing left of me to pick up.
"I vow to always come for you, Evangeline," he says in that deep voice in a way that makes me think there is more meaning to what he says.
I feel the tiniest thread of connection, fragile and frayed but there. And while it’s not enough to dispel the darkness, for now it’s enough to pierce through it, even if just a little.
"Let’s go back to the room. We shouldn’t be out here," I say, suddenly conscious of the late hour. The kitchen suddenly feels too open. Too exposed. Too human.
I lead the way back to my room, Shadow drifting behind like a wisp of smoke. He doesn’t tell me much, but I can’t help feeling we are two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl of life’s uncertainties. And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough to keep theloneliness at bay. Even if it’s just for a little while. Even if it’s just tonight.
