Shadow and I stand in the bedroom, on a different plane of existence, and I have no words.
The room mimics a grand, old-world bedchamber—tall arched windows line one wall. The bed’s canopy is draped in gauzy fabric that’s impossibly thin yet taut like a membrane. A faint, metallic scent lingers in the air, like rusted iron beneath perfume, and there’s an unnatural chill despite a roaring fireplace, its flames flickering an eerie, green-tinged glow.
The space between Shadow and me is tremendous. In a matter of mere hours, nothing is the same.
He isn’t who I thought he was.
And neither am I.
The overwhelming urge to throw myself at Shadow steals my already tortured breath. I want to lose myself in him, or rather, ground myself in him. I want him to claim my mouth, to wrap his tendrils around me, to take control and own my body in every respect like he always does, when things are spiraling out of control.
I dampen between my thighs as I think of how many tentacles it will take to fill me until I can't think anymore. Until I'm gushing and shaking with orgasm, my mind cleared of allthis mess. Until he drives away the memory of the lies and betrayal he inflicted.
The slow-moving tentacles around Shadow suddenly still and his misty eyes deepen to crimson. His mouth splits and a forked tongue licks across his fangs as he inhales deeply. "Evie." The two syllables emerge tortured and filled with lust.
He knows. He senses my body's reaction to him.
A low rumble emanates from his chest as he advances on me. When I step back defensively, he halts.
"Evie?" he asks in confusion.
I’ve never recoiled from him.
"Don't," I try to command him, but it comes out weaker than I want it to.
Shadow snaps straight as if I slapped him. "We need to leave this realm, now." I’ve shot him down and now he’s all back to business.
Instead of answering his urgency, I wrap a hand around one of the five posts framing the large, round bed. I swing around on it lazily. "Do you think there will be food at the celebration?" I ask airly.
He growls in response. It’s a warning.
"I wonder if I could even eat the food here. Can I?" I ask.
"This isn’t a game, Evie. If you stay, you die."
My lungs jerk and heave, struggling with the air again, threatening to dissolve into another coughing fit. My head turns light and dizzy when I cut off the spasms, holding the bodily response back.
"You see? You can't stay here. It's hurting you. The atmosphere is tearing you apart," he insists.
"You should say thank you." I manage to get the words out, though they are a labored wheeze.
"What?"
I swallow hard, forcing the gritty air down. "You should thank me. For saving you from the Pit of Oblivion."
His glare could cut glass. "What?"
"Thank me." An edge of hysteria creeps into my voice, a manic laugh bubbling up from some dark, broken place inside me. It's the sound of someone falling over the edge of madness though I suspect I fell over the cliffside long ago. "Didn't you hear? I'm the Nexus. I'mspecial. Imatter."
The words taste like ash on my tongue, a bitter mockery of the validation I've always craved.
Shadow's expression softens, just a fraction. "Evie, you've always mattered."
I shake my head, vicious in my denial. "They bowed to me, Shadow.Me. The unwanted slut, the useless whore." The words of my foster parents, my school mates, and worse bounce around in my head. "Suddenly I'm a queen, and you... " A cruel smile twists my mouth. "You should bow too."
Something flickers in Shadow's eyes. Resentment? Regret? Acceptance? I don’t know, and I don’t care to ask. I’m tired of always putting him first, of taking whatever scraps he gives me.
Slowly, deliberately, he sinks to his knees, his gaze never leaving mine.
