Everything feels on edge.
I need to get out of these clothes.
I need?—
And then I run.
I run out of the study, up the stairs to the second floor, shoot into the bedroom, into the closet, bang the door close and rip the clothes from my body.
My chest heaves up and down as I look at the mess around me, and the feeling of dread consumes me.
I can’t get enough air.
What can I do? There is nothing I can do.
My life is destroyed.
I can’t breathe properly.
My chest heaves up and down, but I am not really breathing. There is no air reaching my lungs.
Everything tingles.
My face.
My limbs.
Air.
I need air.
The door opens, and I see Victoria's shape enter, my vision blurry.
“Mia,” she says. “What do you need?”
Need.
From her?
To leave and let me die here.
My breath is so erratic that the floor swoons underneath me.
“You need to listen to me,” she says.
Need to listen.
What I need is to scream.
And that is what happens.
“I need to listen?” I scream. “Like I listened to you when youtold me to suck your bloody thumb in public, and no one will see? Yeah, what a great listen that was! Bloody damned hell, I don’t need to listen. You need to listen, because you—YOU!” Spit flies from my mouth. “With your bloody money and entitled behaviour as if you own the world. Just leave me the hell alone! You’ve done enough damage! My life is a train wreck because of you! I hate, hate, hate you. I should have never left the bloody house!”
Somehow, the screaming helps me refocus my senses. I realise only now I stand in my mismatched, already-worn underwear screaming in a closet. I see Victoria, and know I have said one thing too many, but I don’t care. I am done. So done.
She walks up to me.
“You will listen,” she says harshly as she walks up to me. “I will not have anyone behave like a child throwing a tantrum around me. I hear you, and I told you I am handling the situation. If you would rather act out and run like you always do, by all means, do it, but I will not deal with such behaviour. Look at you! You are operating on madness right now.”
