Never in my life have I been more peaceful than right this moment. Yes, I have peace at home, and there is nothing like getting lost in a good book, but my mind has always been on.
All those thoughts.
They’re gone now.
I can’t end one thought. They come and go, while the only thing I have to do is be.
In stillness.
A peace I did not know existed.
10
VICTORIA
PLAYLIST: CAN’T TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU –FRANKIE VALLI
My eyes wander over the pages as I read to her. My plan has been entirely different, but real connections do not happen through planned action; they arise from devotion to the present moment.
And this moment would not have been possible through the enforcement of a plan. This moment is so special, so rare, that I am both captivated and overcome.
I watch her closely whenever I turn a page, and now, with her body relaxed, she has finally surrendered to ease. In any other setting, this would have been the moment where I’d touch her, play with her and make her come, but not today.
Today is about connection and trust. I still cannot believe it is all happening. I have been certain she would not be able to manage to not argue a single time, but here we are—and she is proving me all sorts of wrong, telling me once more that my initial thought about her was right: There is infinitely more to her than she lets on.
I read more.
I do not consider myself a romantic in any way. To me, this is the foreplay for a day in the future when she is ready, but something about it is different from what I've had with any other subs.
Not something.
Everything.
I am never personal; I have never read to anyone, nor have Itaken one here or anywhere else. My lifestyle stays in the dark of the closed doors of my club and home. Mia is different. She needs the emotional connection, the kissing, the romance, and, if I am honest with myself, I am not entirely averse to it either.
Like I told Harold, she is a delightful change from the dullness of routine.
My eyes linger on her beautiful figure. In me stirs a desire to touch her, but I will not do so.
As I glance at my watch, I see it is already five. While I could continue reading for the entire night, I want her to have time to explore the vault herself.
I snap the book closed.
Mia flinches from the sound resounding through the arches.
I get up and walk over to her.
“You may move now,” I tell her as I brush over her hair. “Feel free to explore the vault.”
She looks up at me like a different person as she grasps my hand.
The sensation it causes quickens my heartbeat. Her touch is so soft, so subtle, and yet demanding.
She guides my hand to her cheek and closes her eyes. If I am not entirely mistaken, she has never been held properly before, so I give her the space to guide me.
It is the first time she allows herself to be vulnerable with me. To want something. Desire something. Desire me. And our connection.
A flutter surges through me.
