I lost control.
Victoria lets go of me, and my arms shoot up in front of my chest to protect myself.
I take a step back.
I need to get out of here.
“That mind of yours truly is a bastard,” she says, a weak smile on her face. “It is the only thing that keeps you from being who you truly are.”
I don’t even know what to say to that.
“I’m sorry,” I say, turn, and run.
I run out the door, down the street, and only stop when I am so out of breath my lungs hurt.
It is then that I realise I have left my coat and shoes, and am indeed running through Belgravia, of all places, in socks. Like a total idiot.
Why am I such a mess?I ask myself when I sink to the ground, leaning against one of the concrete walls framing Hyde Park Corner. I pull my legs close and hide my face in my arms as tears fight their way to the surface.
Never in my life have I felt so humiliated. Not even when nasty Tom Burland pulled up my skirt in 6th year in front of the entire class.
Audible footsteps very close to me shift my focus from my inner world to the outer world.
A hand on my shoulder, and I look up only to see the valet, Henry.
“Miss Phillips,” he says, “I believe these belong to you,” he adds, and hands me my coat and shoes.
I wipe away my tears as I get up to take it. The embarrassment is crushing me like chains choking my neck.
“I was instructed to take you home,” he says. “If you’d please follow me to the car.”
“I—please don’t. I can take the?—“
“It was an order, not an offer,” he says.
“I really don’t—it’s not necessary—you must have a million better things to do.“
“I don’t,” he says. “I do my job properly, which includes following my orders. You are my priority right now, if you may now—” he says and gestures for me to leave.
I sigh as I follow him.
In the corner of my eyes, I see people looking at me.
This was the last time I ever set foot outside of my routine, I swear to myself.
8
VICTORIA
PLAYLIST: ENGLAND SKIES – SHAKE SHAKE GO
“And?” I ask Henry upon his return as I look up from my place on the sofa. I have a book in my hand, and yet, I have not read a single line. My mind has been occupied.
“Safely returned home,” Henry says.
“Did she say anything?”
“Nothing of relevance,” he says, and I draw up an eyebrow. “She was quite upset,” he adds. “She cried almost the entire time. I accompanied her into her flat, made her tea and then left. She seemed to be embarrassed by it.”
