“Mhm,” says the nurse.
“It’s my fault,” I say, and rub my thumb across the back of her hand.“I just needed to see her after today.”
The nurse softens a little bit, her face less stern.
“Look, they start again at eight tomorrow morning,” she says.“But I do have to kick you out now.”
Clementine nods.The nurse turns and leaves.
“When are you getting out of here?”she asks.
“Tomorrow, day after that at the latest,” I say.“They might have to do a CT scan of my lungs, but I should be out soon.”
“Okay,” Clementine says, then kisses me again, not as deep or hard as before but not quite gently either.
“Get some sleep,” she says when she pulls back.
I lift her hand to my mouth and kiss the back of it softly, her hazel eyes dark and serious.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” she whispers.“I was really scared.”
I look at her face, so open and serious andvulnerable, and I decide to tell the truth.
“You know what I kept thinking of?”I ask.
“What?”
“When that mountain lion was on the tower, and he wouldn’t get down, and you saidI’m sorry the mountain lion doesn’t respect you.For some reason, I just thought that over and over, and I got through it.”
She smiles and looks down, but I think her eyes are bright with tears.
“That’sthe thing you thought?”she says.
The nurse pops her head back in and clears her throat.
“I gotta go,” Clementine says, and kisses me quickly.I squeeze her hand, and then, just like that, she’s out of my hospital room and it’s dark again.
I fall asleep slowly, the scent of flowers in my nostrils.I hope I dream of Clementine but I don’t dream of anything at all.
ChapterThirty-Seven
Clementine
The next morning,I scan the rows of donuts in their glass cases, behind the counter.
“Two more,” says the bored teenager, snapping a pair of metal tongs together.
“How about those...round ones with the icing and the bits of stuff on top?”I say, pointing.
She looks.
“Those are maple walnut,” she says, like I should reallyknowthat already.
“I’ll take them,” I say, because I don’t really care what they are.I’ve already got the single old-fashioned donut I’m interested in eating, and the rest are a “please like me, and sorry for sneaking in last night” offering.
“Twelve-oh-nine,” she says.I hand her a twenty, she gives me change, and then I head back to the Forest Service vehicle in the parking lot.
It’s a beautiful, sunny day, and even though smoke still hangs in the air, it doesn’t feel nearly as dire as it has the past few days.Even better, I actually took a shower and put on clean clothes this morning, so for the first time in a couple of days I’m not wearing my dirty forest ranger uniform.
