“Sorry,” Ariel says, face still bright.
Sadie, Ariel, and Reid were all born in three and a half years—in that order—and they’ve been thick as thieves ever since they were all old enough to talk. Matt, the boyfriend hassler, is the second youngest, after me, Beth the snoop is the oldest girl, and Drew who saw them kissing is eighteen, the next youngest after Reid.
I still have to draw Andi that family tree.
“This is all still because Beth found …things… in your bedroom?” I ask, twirling more spaghetti because it’s very good and if my siblings are gonna feed me for once, I’m not gonna complain. “And now everyone’s up in arms that you’re having sex before marriage?”
“Yes,” Sadie says, leaning her forehead in her hand, red as a stoplight. I’m pretty sure Ariel muttersnosy bitchand I ignore it, mostly because I agree. “And now they all want me to either break up with him or bring him to church and pray for forgiveness and re-take my purity pledge in front ofeveryone. And he has to do it too.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have worn your purity ring to church every Sunday until you weretwenty-five,” Reid says.
“Maybe you should shut up.”
“I’m surprised it didn’t sizzle off your finger.”
Sadie flips him off.
“Guys,” Ariel says, literally stuck in the middle.
“Thou shalt not lie,” Reid says with mock sincerity.
“What was Isupposedto do?” Sadie snaps. “Toss it in the gutter while they were watching?”
“Say you left it on the sink like a normal person,” says Ariel, and Sadie sighs.
“I didn’t, okay?” she says. “Also, they want us to get married, I forgot that part.”
I sigh and scrub my hands over my face, which I still haven’t washed today since I hiked over ten miles down a mountain before being accosted by my siblings. Who, in their defense, did make very good spaghetti.
And, truth be told, I get why Sadie kept lying like she did. I get why she wanted to be the golden good girl for my parents, going through the motions and saying all the right things. I stopped wearing my purity ring when I joined the army at eighteen, but for years, I did pretty much the same thing.
“Doyouwant to get married?” I ask Sadie.
“Notnow,” she says, sounding horrified. “I don’t know, I mean, maybe later? We haven’t talked about it? I mean, I really like James but it hasn’t been very long and it doesn’t seem like a good idea—”
“We know,” Ariel says, putting a hand on Sadie’s arm. “Shh.”
“I’ll ask Matt to stop hassling James,” I say. “And I’ll try to talk to Beth, but no promises there. And Ari, for fuck’s sake, don’t let Beth in your bedroom.”
“God, no,” Ariel says, and Sadie says, “Thanks,” at the same time.
There’s a long pause, and they all look at each other for a moment before Reid pipes up.
“I made cookies,” he says.
CHAPTERTHIRTY
GIDEON
I takeAndi to dinner that weekend, to La Taverna, a place with cloth napkins and pleasant lighting and a menu without decimal points. I’m strangely nervous about it, as if Andi will see me somewhere nice and realize that I’m barely fit for polite company, but three minutes into the meal she snort-laughs so loudly heads turn and at the end she sneaks leftover dinner rolls into her purse becausethey’re just going to throw them away, don’t you have some poor rehab critter who’ll eat themand I tell her that refined carbs are generally not good for rehab critters and she saysfine, Reid thenand starts arguing with me about paying half the bill.
She comes back to my place and meets Reid in person, finally, and we all sit on the couch and watch a movie and after he gets tired of us and goes to bed, we make out until the movie ends. It would be the perfect time to tell her that I’ve had a vasectomy but I’ve never had sex, not technically, notthatkind, and instead I pull her on top of me and let myself get lost in her warmth.
The next time we go to dinner, she excuses herself to the bathroom before the check comes, then returns looking like the cat who ate the canary and informs me it’s been taken care of. I try to tell her that she shouldn’t, that I like doing this and giving her things and feeling useful, but she puts her hand on my mouth and kisses my temple and sayslet me take care of you for once.
It’s hard to argue with her then and impossible to argue with her later, in my bedroom, when she pulls her mouth off me just in time for me to come all over her chest, something else I probably shouldn’t like but do. I must say that out loud because she rolls her eyes and saysjust not the hair or face, and I can’t argue with the heavy peace that’s settled in my bones or the taste of her still on my lips.
* * *
