If you fight yourself, you fight an
unbeatable enemy.
ALISTAIR
There’s no way out of this. With my back against the wall, every nerve in my body is a live wire. Celine’s brown eyes cut deeper than any knife could.
But I can’t tell her about the blood circle.
I can’t tell her how I feel about her either.
Because she could leave me. And then I would have nothing. Here in this hellish prison realm designed to torture, maim, and kill, I’m trapped in every way that counts.
“Angel.” I reach for her with shaking fingers.
She steps out of my reach. I’m losing her. In a room neither of us can physically leave, I’m still fucking losing her. It’s exactly what I feared.
Do something.Say something. Anything to wipe the crushed expression from her face.
“I’m sorry.” The words come out strangled.
“Don’t,” she snaps. “Don’t you dare apologize.”
“I can’t...” I drag a hand over my face, and Luca shoots me a pained look.
“Get out of your own way, Ali.”
I know he’s right, but I don’t know how. We aren’t in the Fringes anymore. I can’t protect her here, can’t protect any of them. If I expose myself, there’s no taking it back. I’ll be at their mercy for the rest of my life—however long that might be.
Celine’s expression shutters. “I’ll get us out of here, but after that, you can’t come around anymore.” She scrubs her hand over her face. “Maybe you’ll get lucky and someone will take me out in the arena.”
Everything turns red.
“No,” I snarl. “Don’t fucking say that. Don’t ever say that.”
“Then answer me,” she begs. “Why did you even come with me, Alistair? Why bother?”
I’m too hot. Burning up from the inside out. “Because I had no choice,” I hiss, yanking the sweatshirt over my head and tossing it on the floor. “I can’t stand to see you walk away from me. Day and night, all I think about is you. How to make you smile, how to make you come, how to make you want me so badly that you’ll never leave.”
“I’m not a possession, Alistair.”
I grab her hands. “You aren’t a possession; you’reeverythingto me. I want you more than my next breath. I would give up the sun a thousand times for one more day with you. My life is literally in your hands, don’t you see?”
“No,” Celine says. “I don’t see because you tell menothing!”
Your curiosity will be your downfall, Alistair.Mum’s voice echoes in my head.
I suppose it’s time to find out if she was right.
“Do you want to know why I can’t keep baggedblood down?” I ask. Celine nods stiffly. “It’s because I’ve already tied myself to you irrevocably.” I search her face, my heart rattling against my ribs. “I’ve never known a moment of real; do you understand that? I never expected to feel anything for anyone—but my body knew, angel. It knew the second I tasted you.”
She blinks. “I don’t understand.”
I suck in a ragged breath. “We’re in a blood circle. If you die or leave me, I’m done for. Without your blood, I’d be dead within a month. And I kept it from you, not because I didn’t trust you, but because you’regood—even years in the Fringes couldn’t erase your integrity. You’re too noble to let me starve. You would stay with me out of obligation, and the idea of being the object of your pity—a responsibility you couldn’t escape. I couldn’t, no I can’t, bear that, Celine. I would rather die than make you pretend.”
For a second, there’s no sound but the crackling fire.
Celine’s eyes flash, then she backs me into the wall. “Do I look like I’m pretending, Alistair?” she demands. “Did it look like I was pretending when I fought for you in the sand?”
