“I don’t see you as a friend,” I say.
Her face falls. She tries to cover her distress with a bland smile, but it’s too late. I’ve already seen it. My heart leaps.
“I understand,” she says.
“No,” I blurt. “No, I don’t think you do.”
“It’s fine, Malach.” Celine winces. I recognize the expression immediately—her magic punished her for lying. I once asked her how it felt, and she told me it was like the snap of leather, except under her skin instead of on top of it. At the time, I wondered at the comparison. Now, I miss wondering.
Celine pivots to retreat. She’s fed up with the countless ways I’m failing her, and a desperation bubbles up inside me that’s impossible to hold back. I can’t lose her. I won’t.
I grab her hand in both of mine. “You’re not my friend, Celine,” I repeat. “You’re far more than that. I-I don’t intent to submit myself for matching.”
She stares at my trembling hands, then up at me. “But you’re almost sixteen, Malach. Don’t you want to find the one whose word resonates with yours?” There’s a hint of bitterness in her question, but I’m in too deep to back out now.
Gathering all my courage, I squeeze her hand. “There’s nothing they can tell me that I don’t already know. You are my truth and I am your judgment, and nothing will change that.”
Her eyes widen, and for a moment, Celine’s dazzling smile is all I see. Her wings return to feathers. She steps into me, her chest brushing against mine—then she freezes, her eyes focusing on something over my shoulder.
Metal grinds. Her wings have returned to blades. “I-I can’t,” she whispers. Her lips barely move as she speaks. “He’ll take you away from me, Malach.”
My jaw clenches. I hate the defeat in her voice. “I’ll protect you,” I tell her. “No matter what it takes, I’ll stand between you and whatever seeks to harm you. Always and forever.”
She shakes her head, the whites of her eyes overwhelming the warm brown I dream of each night. She doesn’t believe me. I’m losing her. I’m losing everything.
“Use your word,” I beg. “Test me, Celine. Please.” I sound pathetic, but I cannot begin to care about that when my sole focus is banishing the shadows from her eyes. I know the danger is real. S’lach is powerful and feared among thethatsha.Our road might not be easy, but if Celine doesn’t believe... I shudder. I cannot stand that.
Her runes flicker, and I fix my stare on her arm and clear my throat. “I swear to always put your happiness above my own. Until the stars fall from the heavens and time loses meaning, I am yours.”
It was the first vow I made to her, but it wouldn’t be the last. I knew it, even then.
The golden runes fade from her bruised skin, and she sniffles.
I drop my forehead to hers. “Do you believe me now?”
Celine nods slowly, then kisses my cheek before pulling her hand free. “I believe you, Malach.”
She leaves me in the courtyard, surrounded by straw-filled dummies, blades, and an unquenchable thirst to judge S’lach and make him pay for every shadow—the ones in her eyes and the ones on her skin.
The next vow I make to myself.
My truth is a warrior, but she will never fight alone. I’ll make sure of it.
A loud clinking pulls me out of the past.
Luca jostles Ciprian, playfully attempting to steal the last bite from his plate. I blink to orient myself, but the determination I felt in the courtyard is as fresh today as it was then.
Only one thing has changed. Back then, I was the only one fighting for Celine. For years that remained true. Until now. She’s no longer alone, and she won’t be—even if I fall.
For the first time in weeks, my mind and body are pain free.
THIRTY-EIGHT
Monster Realm Survival Tip #44:
Instinct and knowledge aren’t enough on their own. You need both to win.
CELINE
