I stare at her, willing her to look up, just once, so I can litmus test her eyes. She keeps her gaze lowered, though. Brandon’s parents sit on one side of her, and a woman who looks like an older version of the adulteress sits on the side closest to me. I’m pretty sure that’s her mom.
“Give me one second,” our lawyer says, signaling something to Brandon’s attorney. Both men approach the bench, and the judge leans in close as they speak. It all takes less than a minute, and before I know it, my lawyer is standing next to me and the judge is reading everything I just reviewed on the cover sheet of Brandon’s proposal.
He gavels us out after both sides agree. All that’s left is for me to wait for a piece of mail. A divorce decree, which I can staple on top of my marriage certificate and stow away in some box that I’ll likely store at my parents’ house and never need to see again.
It’s hard not to notice the smile on Brandon’s face as we leave. I get that he’s excited to have a new baby coming into his life, but nothing about how we got here should make him happy. I stop at the door and consider walking up to him and offering a passive-aggressive congratulations, just to fish for confirmation. But before I make that mistake, my father grasps my bicep and meets my determined stare. He shakes his head.
“I know you want to, but it won’t do any good. Just because you’re wearing her pant suit doesn’t mean you have to act like her.” He arches a brow, and I let a smile slip in.
“You’re right,” I agree. And he is. My mom would have interrupted the judge and taken over her own form of questioning to get to the bottom of Brandon’s reasoning. She would have fired our lawyer and put Caitlyn on the stand. And then she’d probably get herself banned from Payne County courtrooms for life.
There’s value in that. And it’s tempting. But right now, I get to walk out of here with almost everything I want. And my attention is better spent trying to land that final piece.
TWENTY-EIGHT
BROOKS
Spring
I thought it would feel different coming back. I also knew it would feel the same.
This town is woven into my soul. My best memories bloomed here, but also, some of my worst. I’ve spent the last few months reconciling my past with my present, and the only thing I know for certain is that Holly, Lindsey, and her boys are the most important people in my life. I’m still not sure I can keep all of them safe, though. And I question whether I deserve to.
I put Lindsey and my daughter at risk. What they went through was due to me and my decisions. I could have done more when someone broke into our home. And burying that money with Roddy, and not telling Lindsey what I had done, was foolish. I thought I was protecting her by burying the truth along with the drug money. That hole was too shallow.
And yet she forgave me, almost instantly. And she still calls, even when I don’t answer. Her messages are kind, her wishes for me genuine, and there’s always this glimmer of hope in her voice.
When she called last week, I finally picked up. She asked if I was coming into town soon, and if we could talk. Hunter and Renleigh tell her everything, and they likely told her I am thinking about hanging up my cleats. My agent disagrees. And so does Hunter. But he doesn’t know what it’s like to live in my head. Baseball was a given for him, but I’m not sure I can drum up the same fire required to get to the next level. I lost some of the fuel after everything went down last year, and I haven’t exactly kept up with my training like I should. It would be easy to get back, though. I just need one reason. Maybe three.
And that’s why I’m here.
The golden Earl’s sign flickers against the periwinkle sky. Dusk hits differently in this part of the world. Flatlands and windmills broken up only by the few places like Earl’s, where trucks pile into the lot and beer flows freely, and stadium lights that glow above the horizon.
I’m here to see both. Either to say goodbye, or . . .
Lindsey’s van is pulled up right by the door. Her shift ends in an hour. I’m early, but I drove straight through, and once I crossed the county line, I had to keep going.
Holly is spending the weekend with her Uncle Hunter and Aunt Ren. I think the two of them want to see what it would be like having a family. Hunter bought a ring already; I saw it. He doesn’t think Renleigh is ready for him to ask, but sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.
Kinda like the one I’m about to take.
I get out of my car and straighten the denim button down I changed into at a gas station four miles back. I want to look nice when I see her, which means I couldn’t show up in the same shirt I wore for three hundred miles. I like to eat on the road. And I’m a messy dude.
I roll up each sleeve, then glance down at my jeans to make sure I’m not covered in crumbs. With a deep breath, I roll myshoulders back and head to the heavy metal door branded with Earl’s famous tagline: Good beer. Good people. Good times.
I add one more in my head.
Good luck.
A round of laughter hits my ears as soon as I step inside, and I glance to my right to spot this season’s new batch of rookies piled around one of the pool tables, probably losing lots of cash to one of the locals. I learned really quick not to bet on pool games here. For some of these folks, pool is like a second language.
Daisy spots me over the crowd gathered around her at the bar, and she nods with a smile. I move in close enough to order a drink, but she’s already got a Coke waiting for me.
“I might need a little rum in it this time,” I say. I don’t drink much. She got that right. But I could use a dash of courage.
She tops it off, then slides it my way.
“This one’s on the house. She’ll be right out.”
