“Have you talked to him?”
Ren and Hunter have seen Brooks. He and Holly moved to Austin, and he’s been working at a baseball hitting facility during the off-season, giving lessons. Holly goes to a nearby daycare.
“Yeah, he seems good. He still won’t commit to going back, though. His agent works with Hunter’s, and they’ve been talking a lot. Hunter is going to hang out with him today, try to convince him to stick with it. Linds, they’re going to call him up this season. Hunter’s agent told him.”
I smile, not able to help feeling proud. Of course he’s getting called up. He can’t quit now, not when his dream is so close.
“How soon?” My question is selfish. I want him to spend time in Sweetwater first.
“Probably not right away. Are you considering nannying for him again? You know Daisy would let you leave and come back. We’re like family around that place.”
Of course, my sister thinks I’m interested in the job aspect of his return. I’ve been guarded with our relationship, especially after everything that happened.
“Maybe,” I say after a short pause. I lean in close to the mirror and rest my phone on the sink, forcing my sister to view the Earl’s women’s restroom ceiling while I touch up my lipstick.
“He thinks he traumatized you, I guess. But I told him there’s nothing we haven’t seen in Sweetwater.”
My sister and I both had wild times when we were in high school, nights filled with lights-out drag-racing and jumping off cliffs into rocky water. Our youth was reckless. That’s different from what happened with Brooks. That was actual danger. Itwas out of my control. And while my heart still wants to be with Brooks, I’m having a tough time reconciling what I went through with keeping my kids safe. I’m sure he is, too.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I finally respond.
I’m not.
“Hey, good luck today. Remember, you’re an incredible mom. He’s a cheater. And he doesn’t know how to fish!”
I laugh, loving my sister’s assessment of my divorce hearing. I blow a kiss into the phone and end our call.
I give myself one more onceover, rolling my shoulders and evaluating my cleavage. I decide better and button my blouse again. I march out of Earl’s like I own the joint and drive my new van to my parents’ house so I can pick up my dad and kiss my boys for good luck. They have no idea what’s going on. They just know that their dad is buying them anything they want, and their mom has been overly affectionate lately. I suppose all is as it should be in their world.
My lawyer is waiting at the front of the courthouse when I arrive. Suddenly, everything feels high stakes, and I doubt every detail we’ve worked through. Even this stupid white pant suit that suddenly feels even more snug.
I pull the jacket off before my dad and I reach the ramp next to the steps.
“Linds, you need to calm down,” my dad says. “Your pits are sweating like mine.”
I glance down and note the dark blue circles ringing my undersleeves.
“Dammit,” I curse, handing my jacket to my dad so I can flap my hands at my pits like a crazy woman. I breathe through my nose and walk in circles, looking up at the sky, then closing my eyes.
“Lindsey, you got a minute?” My attorney clearly can’t see. Because no, I do not.
I open my eyes on him but continue to air-dry my silk blouse. I think it’s beyond hope. I may as well shove my arms back into the damn jacket.
“We have a new proposal from your ex. I think we should discuss it before we head into court.”
My eyes pop out. I feel my brow touch my hairline.
“What kind of new proposal?” My stomach drops. I’ve been anticipating something like this for weeks. Since Brandon learned about Brooks’s father. I did everything right. The boys were always safe. But Brandon kept grilling me about thewhat ifs. He’s not wrong. Those same questions have kept me awake almost every night since it happened.
What if the boys walked in when Jared had a gun pointed at me?
What if he kidnapped me instead of his son?
What if I was shot? Or killed?
“Okay, let’s take a look.” My father and I follow my lawyer through the security checkpoint, then duck into a meeting room on the first floor.
Brandon should be waiting upstairs in the trial room, along with his judgmental parents and a handful of his colleagues who will testify about what a good man he is. They’re all liars. They covered for him when he was sleeping with Caitlyn. None of them can look me in my eyes.
