“Then, you should go out there with them. They’d like that.” He stares at my mitt for several quiet seconds, and I think part of him really wants to take it, but eventually he pushes it away.
“Like I said, I’m good,” he huffs.
I shake my head. He simply can’t let me be right about something. He’d rather miss out on a great morning in the park with his boys than give in and take a little advice from a guy like me.
“Whatever,” I scoff, turning my back to him and heading toward the van, where Lindsey is wrapping up the waste fromcleaning up Holly. I take the plastic bag from her, throwing the trash away while she pulls Holly’s cotton shorts back into place.
“You okay?” I ask. She’s clearly not.
“He said he thinks it would be too hard for me to be the primary parent while I’m going back to school. Apparently, the boys have told him that I’m too busy at the table most nights, on my laptop or reading. And when I’m not, I’m paying attention to Holly. He told me they feel neglected.” She sniffles, and I run the pad of my thumb under her eye to catch the tear that falls. I don’t care who sees us.
“First of all, there’s no way the boys said that. He either flat-out lied or twisted their words. And second, don’t you dare feel bad about finishing your degree. Just because he couldn’t be a parent and a student at the same time doesn’t mean you can’t. Your boys are proud of you, just like I am.”
She forces a timid smile onto her lips and croaks, “Thanks.”
I nearly reach for her and pull her into a hug, but I stop myself. Her ex is watching everything we do. In looking over her shoulder, though, I catch a glimpse of someone hovering around the back of my SUV. And when the guy turns to the side, I recognize him immediately. It’s the same sketchy dude who showed up at the ballpark a few weeks ago. He’s holding a stick with a mirror on the end, scanning the undercarriage for something, and he’s drawing a lot of eyes—including Brandon’s.
“Shit,” I mutter, taking off across the parking lot.
The guy hears my heavy steps, and instantly breaks into a run, leaving his mirror device behind so he can leap over a neighboring fence. I chase him for a bit, trying to head him off on the other side of the yard he fled through, but he’s gone by the time I round the corner. He probably had someone waiting in a car nearby.
I jog back to my SUV, where Lindsey is standing with Holly, and Brandon has made his way over. I pick up the mirror and cut myself on the jagged crack.
“Dammit,” I hiss, sucking the droplet of blood from my thumb as I inspect the busted device in my other hand.
“Who was that?” Lindsey asks.
“I don’t know.” I look over my shoulder, in the direction the guy took off, and nothing looks out of place. No cars racing away. Nobody lingering in a driveway. It’s quiet.
“He showed up around a month ago, asking about the Suburban. Said he knew my mom.” I forget that I have an audience of two, but Brandon quickly reminds me.
“I don’t like that you’re putting our boys in unsafe situations, Lindsey. Andyou . . .”He points at my chest. “You should be focused on keeping all of these kids safe. Maybe practice is done for today, yeah?”
He shakes his head at me with a look of disgust, then heads toward the field, where his boys are still laughing and having fun with their team. He calls them over and they race toward him, but as soon as their tiny arms sag at their sides with apparent disappointment, Lindsey hands Holly to me.
“He’s going to take them home because of some manufactured concern. I’m putting a stop to this,” she says, marching toward him while I hang back with my girl.
I should probably follow behind her, but I’m starting to think I’m weakening her defense. And I’m not so sure that concern is manufactured. I don’t like that whoever that man is can easily find my vehicle. But I intend on getting to the bottom of that tonight.
TWENTY-TWO
LINDSEY
I’m starting to wonder if ever truly was in love with Brandon, or simply enamored with theideaof him. I think I was attracted to his mind.
We met my freshman year of college. He was three years older than me, a senior going into grad school. I went to watch a debate with a few classmates as a way to get credit for one of our undergrad classes. But then I saw him at the podium, and the way he made the room bend to his argument was like watching a wizard harness magic.
I should have known then that he would do the same to me.
Looking back, it’s so obvious how he worked every argument to his favor. I never wanted to step away from school, but he didn’t want to share in the work of being a young parent. I could have easily succeeded doing both—raising the boys and continuing my coursework. He was afraid he’d have to help, though.
I’m stewing over the words he said out on the field today, but at least the boys got to stay and finish their practice. And I got to take them home with me, a day early. I’m sure that was somehow Brandon’s ulterior motive all along. He probably has a big date with Caitlyn, or maybe another student he’s cheatingon her with. Joke’s on him this time, because I got exactly what I wanted. There’s no place I’d rather be than here, in this home, with my boys . . . and Brooks and Holly.
Brooks has called us a family a few times now, and at first, I bristled. Not because I don’t want it, but rather, I don’t want to lose it. It feels fragile, and we’re keeping so much of our lives inside these walls a secret. Even within this house, the side we show the boys is different than the way we are when we’re alone with one another. I’m tired of sneaking into his room at night for fleeting moments of bliss.
I need to get through the next month, to my court date with Brandon. Then, maybe he and I can try this blended family thing for real. Until then, I’m not sure I should keep a foot in both worlds. I don’t want to hurt him. And I don’t want us to hurt my boys.
Hearts are evil bastards, though. And damn it if there’s not something about him that simply draws me in. He’s been on the sofa with his laptop for a while now, rubbing circles in his temple. I think he’s struggling with seeing that man again at the park.
