“Hey,” he says, the same way he said it when I crashed into his body at the front door. His arms have somehow become such a safe place for me.
I shift in the bed until I face him, and he moves both of his hands, finger-combing my hair from my face, then cradling my cheeks as he runs his thumbs under my exhausted eyes.
“You’re an amazing mom,” he reiterates.
I blink slowly, fighting to keep my eyes open. Staring into his blue is too soothing to stop.
“I’d venture to guess you’re a pretty great wife, too. Today, when I thought . . .” He stops shy of finishing again, but this time, I really want to hear him say it.
“When you thought what?” I prompt.
His mouth tugs up on one side into a guilty but faint smile.
“When I heard your voicemail, all I could think was I needed to get back here to protect my family. My daughter, of course. But also . . . to protectyou. And not because you’re my friend. Because you’re not just my friend, Linds. You’re not just the nanny. You’re . . .” He sucks in his lips and shakes with a single, silent laugh.
“What am I, Brooks?” My hands crawl up his chest again, grasping at the dry-fit fabric of his post-game shirt. He literally got on a plane immediately after his game and flew home for us. For Holly.
For me.
“You’re mine, Lindsey. You’re fucking mine.”
SEVENTEEN
BROOKS
That felt good to say. Lindsey is scared, and not only because of the break-in at our house. I see it in her eyes as she’s staring back at me, though I can’t tell whether she wants to cry or utter, “Okay,” then climb on top of me. Maybe both.
I move my hand to her chin, my thumb caressing the soft skin below her bottom lip. It’s not quite pouting, but it is trembling. I move the pad of my thumb to it as my gaze narrows to this miniscule piece of her body. One square inch of perfection among so many more. I love this fucking lip.
“We both know it’s too late to pretend we aren’t in this,” I say.
A slow exhale leaves her nostrils, and I drag my thumb across her lip one more time before moving to her jawline. My gaze follows each touch of my hand, following along as I trace her beauty with my fingertips, moving from her jaw to her neck, then up the side of her head where my fingers thread into her hair. I settle my gaze on her eyes.
“I thought of you as family.Myfamily. You, Holly, the boys. When I heard your message, something took over my chest, like this tight vice that threatened my lungs.” I move my fist to the center of my chest, covering her hands that have clung to my shirt for the last several minutes.
“This is a bad idea,” she finally utters.
A short, breathy laugh escapes through my nose and my mouth twitches into a faint smile.
“I know. But here we are.” I swallow the fear threatening to derail me from spilling my guts. “I can’t keep moving forward like there’s nothing here. This thing between us got complicated the minute I saw you in the damn diaper aisle at the market. And then fate made sure I had to look at you every day.”
Her gaze dips to my mouth, and I lick my bottom lip, wanting to kiss her.
“It wasn’t fate, Brooks. You’re the one who made sure we saw each other every day. You offered me a job. I work for you. That’s the arrangement, and I can’t?—”
I move closer to her, resting my head against hers, moving my hand back to the side of her face as I close my eyes and breathe her in.
“I can’t jeopardize my custody. My divorce isn’t final, and Brandon is being?—”
“So, we’ll be careful. We’ll keep it a secret. Just ours.” I dust a kiss on the tip of her nose, and her chin tips up slightly as her lips part.
“Nobody can know,” she whispers.
I shake my head slowly and pull back enough to meet her eyes.
“I will guard this secret with my life until you say so. I promise. I promiseyou,Lindsey. I need you like I fucking need air.”
My pulse is racing. I never thought I would be able to hand the power over to anyone, but I sense I have to right now. If I don’t try, I’ll never be whole. It’s Lindsey or it’s no one for me. That’s how deep I am.
