My pulse kicks up, and I wipe the sweat from my palms along the top of my thighs under the table. “Years,” I admit. “It’s been a good, long while. And it was just that. Sex.”
If Remington is surprised, he doesn’t show it. “Where’d you meet him?”
“At a bar,” I offer before clearing my throat. “I was out of town, pickin’ up cattle the next mornin’.”
“And before that, how long had it been?”
“Years.” My throat feels like sandpaper as I swallow. “I don’t do this. Like, hardly ever.”
He tilts his head. “Why not?”
Thinking about the question for a moment, I shrug. “It’s just not somethin’ I do. Easier that way, I guess.”
“Has it…always been that way?”
I breathe out a sigh. “Yes, Remington. I’m a little rusty and inexperienced when it comes to sex, if that’s what you’re askin’.”
He pauses. “Can I ask you somethin’ else?”
“You mean, more than you already have?” I snort. “Sure. Why not?”
“Are you—” Remington clears his throat and shifts in his seat. “Only men, or…?”
I nod once. “I’m gay.”
That’s the first time I’ve ever said that out loud.My heart is pounding a mile a minute, and my hands are trembling. The weight of that admission hits me square in the chest.
“And June?” he asks.
I don’t miss a beat. “Knew I was gay before I did.”
That gets his attention. “Really?”
I nod.
“Before or after you got married?”
Guess we’re airing it all out tonight.
I swallow thickly, working up the courage. “Before,” I admit. “We grew up together. Same town. Same school. Same group of friends.” I smile faintly. “She was my best friend before she was anythin’ else.” I scratch my hand across my jaw. “And somewhere along the way, we both realized the same thing.”
“That you liked men,” he offers quietly.
“And she liked women.”
Remington blinks. “Wow. I mean, I knew her and that women were more than just roommates, but wow… This whole time?”
The memory makes me huff a quiet laugh. “We were eighteen and convinced we had the whole world figured out.”
“That’s dangerous,” he says teasingly.
“Extremely.” I look down at my hands, twisting them together in my lap. “So, one night we had this genius idea. We decided to sleep together. Just once. To see if maybe we were wrong.”
His mouth twitches. “That’s certainly one way to test a theory.”
I shake my head, biting back a smile. “We figured if there was any spark there, maybe all the rest of it—the way we felt about other people—was just…confusion.”
“And?”
