“Oh, I hope not. I’m actually going to the beach for a week. I need it for my mental health.”
Her eyes held wariness behind them, and she looked away momentarily, her shoulders slumping. There was more there. Had something happened to her? I wanted to ask, but this didn’t seem like the right time or setting. Not to mention, we weren’t as close as we once were. I didn’t have the right to know her personal life. It didn’t stop me from wanting to know. Wanting to help if I could. I knew most of her life during this time apart, but there was only so much I could see into her world. Behind her doors and in her head.
She shivered, despite the warm climate, and focused back on us. “I’m going to Rehobeth Beach in Delaware. A friend is letting me stay at her beach house. I’m leaving Sunday.”
“By yourself?” I asked, lifting my drink to feign nonchalance. She wasn’t dating anyone, per my intel, but they weren’t always right.
She nodded. “Yup. I’m going to read books on the beach, eat yummy seafood, do a little shopping at the outlets and boutiques, get a massage, and sleep in. I have a great manager who works for me, and he can handle me being away.”
Sam leaned back in his seat, and I could see those bright eyes rounding with something annoying to say. “Hey, Marcus has a beach house in Rehobeth and-”
I cut him off, already knowing where his mind was going. He was always looking for a reason not to work. “I hope you get the rest you need, Cammy.”
She shook her head. “You could use a break, too. It’s been a long time, but I’m sure you’re still the same. All work and no play.”
I frowned, looking down at her hand. I wanted her to keep it there, but knew how impractical that would be. She was always so encouraging. Always the escape I needed. The safe space. I’d had no one in my life like her besides my mother. When she left and then my mother died, the life I had just got more sour.
We talked some more, keeping things light and superficial. Anything else I wanted to say needed to be somewhere more private and away from my intruding youngest brother.
After she left, Sam and I remained for him to watch me close out the tab, because he hadn’t even attempted to open his wallet to help. Not that I expected him to.
Sam mumbled something unintelligible as I calculated the tip. “What?” I grumbled, not looking up at him.
“You knew she was here. You know everything," he replied.
I cocked a brow. "How do you know what I know?"
"I've heard you talking to Marcus and Paulo about her. You've been stalking her since she moved to New York. No way, you didn't know she was here. I thought it was weird you switched where we were originally supposed to meet at the last minute. You picked this place to see her. Maybe hoping to run into her."
I narrowed my eyes. He was partially right. I'd selected this place because I was told she was here by one of my people who'd been keeping tabs on her, and I did want to see her. I always wanted to see her, even if from afar. Having her come up to us was a different story but not an undesired one.
Sam continued. "And you let her go without getting her number, you idiot. If I hadn’t asked, you’d have to stalk her at her gallery.”
“I would never do that.” Besides, I already knew her number.
“Fine, I would have. You still like her. It’s been fifteen years. You’re both available. She’s divorced, no kids. You’re single. And although you have a twelve-year-old, she’s a loner who doesn’t like anyone, kind of like you. So you have time.”
I cut my eyes at him. “Are you being fucking for real right now?”
He tossed his hands out to the side. “Eh, the kid’s at that age. Not the point.”
“Whatisyour point?”
“That you could have a shot at being with Camilla now. All the things that made you act like an idiot and push her away aren’t here now. Dad isn’t here to taint her and make her a collectible like he did the rest of us. You don’t have to be scared all the time.”
I nearly crumbled the receipt I was writing on and slid it away angrily. Sam consistently talked as if he knew anything about the dark side of our family. He’d been spared. Babied. He’d had it easy compared to Marcus and me. Dad ignored him, but what I would have done to have that monster ignore me or at least spare Marcus and allow him a real life. One where we didn’t have to kill or watch others get killed while we were still children. I had mortal enemies before I hit eighteen. Every decision I made was out of necessity, not out of ignorance.
I got up and took my suit jacket off the back of my chair. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. While you were a freshman in college, snorting away your monthly allowance from Mommy and Daddy, I had to make real-world decisions. Still do. It was more than just fear, and I stand by my decision. She deserves the moon. I’m not the moon. Not yet. Don’t piss me off.”
I turned and walked away, but I could hear my brother come up behind me. “Is this how you talk to your brother who died?”
I nodded. “Absolutely.”
“Fuck, sorry, bro. I just want to see you happy. You’re never fucking happy. You’re 42, and you’re always angry. Always tired. Our father, that fucker, made you like that.” He jumped in front of me and opened the door, waiving me to step out. “You’re right, I don’t know everything about your life, but maybe a spontaneous vacation might be what you need. You got people who run the club, and Paulo is damn capable with the other thing. Hell, I’ll even do my time and stick around and keep an eye on things.”
I stopped at my car and turned to him. “You have work, and you don’t need to get fired from another job. Especially because you actually like this one.”
I looked up at the night sky. I couldn’t see the stars beyond the bright lights of the city, but I knew they were there. It might be nice to see them again. To see her. Would she think it was weird if I showed up? She kind of implied that I should go. Of course, she didn’t exactly say the same beach on the same week.
