I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, between my club and my wise investments, I can pursue a life.”
“You mentioned this before, but I just can’t see the family letting you step down.”
“No, and I wouldn’t. But I will keep changing things. I’m not going out like Dad and Granddad. The goal was always to expand and be better. Shit gets old otherwise. Paulo can take on more responsibility if needed. I won’t let that life consume me like it did Dad.”
Sam gave a contemplative look, which was quite unlike him, and nodded his head. “I think you’ve been changing things for the better. You can be an asshole, but you’re nothing like Dad. He was a fucking monster. I don’t even think he said three words to me after I graduated from college. I don’t think people have tobe scared of you all the time and watch you dismember people left and right to follow you.”
I agreed. “And the family will have to accept it or just die angry. We’re still at the top. We don’t need to have a collection of enemies to do well. We don’t even have to be number one. I want loyalty from my people because they feel they are part of something they can get invested in. I want to provide a real career for folks. Something they are proud to say aloud. And whoever takes it on after me, they won’t have to deal with the shit I do.”
Sam tapped his glass with mine. “I respect that.”
“Sammy?” called a female voice behind us.
My heart instantly felt like it was constricting, coupled with a fluttering in my stomach at the same time, causing me to set my drink down.
Sam turned in his barstool before I did, and I heard him give an exaggerated exclamation. “Camilla Robinson! Long time no see!”
I heard her giggle in response, and just the sweet sound made me clutch my stomach. “Sammy Tolsen. So good to see you. You look well. Being good, I hope.”
I turned to my left to see my brother hug the woman, and I ignored the slight jealous stab that tried to make its presence known in my chest. It had been years since I touched her. The number of years I had craved her comforting touch felt impossible. She pulled back, and I got to see the beauty I’d known almost all my life. Glimmering brown skin, bright chocolate eyes beneath long dark lashes above high cheekbones, and full painted red lips. Her hair was now in long, almost waist-length black braids that complemented her. She was dressed professionally in a mid-length blue dress that flattered every part of her thick curves and black heels that gave her a statuesque appearance. She was a damn goddess.
She turned to look at me and gave me a wide, sparkling-toothed grin, but there was a hint of uncertainty in her eyes that I didn’t miss. Nor was I upset; I understood it. It’d been over fifteen years, but still, she had a magic to her without even needing to say words. She opened her arms, and I don’t recall even getting out of my chair to hug her. I just blinked, and I was wrapping my arms around her without thought. It was as if I had no other choice. As if touching her was as easy and normal as breathing. All the while, my heart was thumping so loudly in my ears it was becoming my own personal soundtrack. Fuck, she even smelled good. Citrus and flowers.
She squeezed me tightly. I couldn’t believe she was hugging me like this. Touching me as if she were actually happy to see me. Didn’t hate me like I thought she should. “Aww, Harry, I missed you,” she said casually, as if those words would have no deeper meaning for me. As if saying she thought of me over all these years wouldn’t crack my entire existence. She had no clue.
She pulled back from me, and I fought to maintain my cool by allowing her to end the embrace, although I wanted to hold onto her for longer. I wanted to do more, but that was out of the question at this point. “You look just as beautiful as I remembered. Guessing life has been good to you?” I asked, trying to keep my tone neutral.
She waved a dismissive hand at me. “You flatter me. Also, I’m half elf and half mage, so the aging process is kind to me. But I’ll take the compliment anyway. You look good, too.”
Her tone was cautious, which I didn’t like, although I deserved it. I wanted things to flow like they used to between us but I had ruined that. There were many days when I found myself wonderingwhat if. What if I wasn’t tied to my family’s dangerous business and forced to put them before me? Before her. Forced to be particular about who I let in my life, not simply because of trust but because of the possible danger to them, andnot just of our enemies but because of my family. My father and his cruelty. A cruelty she never needed to know.
“Are you just coming in?” Sam asked, interrupting our connection.
I held in a growl at his presence. I wasn’t annoyed.
Okay. I was a little annoyed.
Camilla shook her head. “No. I had an early meeting with a client that just ended.”
“Client?” I asked, as if I had no clue what she was talking about. As if I hadn’t been tracking her all these years like some obsessed stalker.
“Yeah, I have an art gallery. This was an artist I’d been trying to get to display here, and they agreed.”
Sam threw his hands up in the air. “Yeah! Sounds like you need a celebratory drink.”
I tightened my lips. I did not want to be pushy. Not to mention that having her around fell into distraction territory, and I did not want that. No, scratch that, I did want the distraction of her. It just could lead to problems. Problems that could mean death.
She looked at me nervously. “No, I don’t want to interrupt.”
Sam waved a dismissive hand. “Of course you aren’t, right, bro?”
I felt conflicted, backed into a corner. Every part of me wanted her to stay. Forever if it was reasonable. However, I wasn’t ready yet. Still, she was here, in front of me, and I couldn’t hurt her more than I had already. I wouldn’t, couldn’t watch the pain in her eyes that I caused ever again. “You have to stay so we can celebrate you. Take my seat. We just ordered food. Did you eat?”
She beamed up at me, and it nearly stole the breath from me. Once again, I had to remind myself why we’d been apart all these years because right now, it felt stupid. I pulled my stool back for her to sit.
“No, and I’m starving,” she replied.
I pushed her closer to the bar. “Get her a menu, Sam.”
