I chuckled at that, feeling content with our easy casualness again. This was like the old days when we would joke around, share our complaints and worries without concern. She really had been my best friend. She would be something more now.
“I enjoyed last night and this morning.” Enjoyed was an understatement. She had ruined me for anyone else. If she rejected me, I would never be the same. She already had my heart and my mind, but now she had my body. I could still taste her sweetness, feel her warmth. I would never forget our first time together. I would never tire of her and would make sure shefelt the same. Some might say I was mildly obsessed. I was fine with that.
She nodded. “I did, too. It was fun.”
I was hoping for more of a reaction than fun. She was making it seem casual. It was far from that for me. “Fun?”
She squinted her eyes at me. “And amazing and intense and beautiful. And I’m still in shock. I don’t want this to ruin our friendship after we just got reconnected.”
I frowned. Did she think this was a one-time thing? I had to remind myself that this was new to her. That she hadn’t been filled with thoughts of us together for the past fifteen years. For her, we were a connection that was over and done. For me, she was always coming back to me. But she didn’t know that. I needed to be patient, but I had waited long enough. “Why would it ruin our friendship? Princess, we’re so far past friends now, and we’re not going back.”
She considered me for a moment, running her tongue over her plump bottom lip. It took everything in me not to lean over and kiss her, nibble that bottom lip. “You aren’t the only one to make decisions here. We barely became friends again. Last night and this morning were fueled by drinks and adrenaline from all that happened to us.”
I felt a rumble of disapproval in my chest. She knew better than that. “You know it was more. You weren’t drunk, and neither was I. I don’t do friends with benefits. Not with you. I know you want more, too.”
She looked back out at the water, nothing on her face betraying her emotions. “You kind of said you lent me to my ex until things got safer, and I’m still not happy that you didn’t talk to me about your concerns. I kind of feel manipulated despite your reasoning. I don’t like to be kept in the dark, and I don’t like being controlled.”
Tone it down, Harris. Despite how you may feel, you don’t need to make things harder than they already are.“Of course. You’re your own person. With your own destiny. I’m just here to steer you the right way.” By the look on her face, I could tell my words weren’t helping. It was probably because I didn’t mean it. Her destiny was with me.
She eyed me suspiciously. “What would you have done if I were still happily married?”
I grimaced, sitting back. I’d hate to show her how crazy I could get, but I’d risk it, so she’d understand how serious I was about her. “You’re too smart to have stayed with that asshole, and you didn’t. But if you had, I probably would have made things very uncomfortable.”
She twisted in her seat and looked at me, her mouth parted in shock. “Are you serious?”
I shrugged, unbothered by her reaction. She would come to realize just how serious I was about her. “I don’t do well not getting what I want. Who I want. Since we were little, I knew you were for me. And I’m for you. So, anyone who was with you since was just an interloper whom I owed no loyalty.”
“You’re crazy.”
I raised a brow, running my tongue over the base of one of my tusks. “About you, some might say.”
“So, you’re saying you would have ruined my marriage if I were happy with my ex? Or even any other guy since him?”
“You know me, when I put my mind to something, I get it. Plus, we both know we had, and obviously still have, a connection. I don’t think you would have been able to ignore it. You might be surprised by this, princess, but I never was. It was us. It was always us.”
“Why do you keep calling me princess?”
“Because that is how I intend on treating you. How else should I treat someone who’s mine?”
She pressed her lips together and looked away again, but I saw a slight shake in her resolve in those lovely brown eyes. She had to know that fighting me on this wouldn’t work. It was silly if she felt the same way for me as I did for her. All these hypotheticals didn’t matter.
“What if you couldn’t get with me until we were old?”
I smiled, resting my head on the back of the lounger. “Why would that matter to me? You are mine until we die, and we live long lives. We were going to be old together regardless.”
She huffed, relaxing her shoulders. “You’re so sure of us. I don’t know how I feel about this all. It’s still so new. Even if I had a crush years ago, we aren’t the same now.”
I tilted my head in her direction. She was being stubborn, that was fine. She wanted to waste time denying the inevitable, but I supposed I deserved it. Regardless of my intentions, I had hurt her. I often wondered what life would have been like if I had stopped worrying about the dangers my life could put her in and just dated her. Married her.
However, that was not the route I’d taken, and despite keeping eyes on her all these years, there was still so much about her life I no longer knew. No matter how many people I hired to follow her relationship status or work, or vacations, they could not tell me her thoughts, her hopes, her dreams. Still, at her core, I knew her and she knew me.
“Fair enough, just don’t push me away. Well, don’t try to.”
She snorted. “Because you aren’t going anywhere?”
I grinned at her. “See, you do still know me.”
“I would be terrified if I didn’t.”
