Sean bumped my arm. “Whenyousay it, it’s cute.”
Jack started to say something, but someone called his name from near the stage.
“Your fans await.” Sean angled his thumb toward me. “Especially this one.”
I flushed at how true that was. I literally couldn’t keep still. Jack smiled at me again before heading toward where the band was setting up.
Sean leaned into me, whispering in my ear. “See that woman hanging out near the band?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I couldn’t help but stare at her as she gave Jack a hug. He remained stiff, pulling back and giving a warmer hug to the man standing next to her, with that back slap guys often did when they hugged each other.
“That’s Stacey. She broke his heart right before he left the band.”
“They were together?” I asked, studying her closer. She had a wide, confident smile and wild, curly dark hair. “She’s beautiful.”
Sean hummed in his throat. “Maybe, but she dumped him after sleeping with his bandmate. Turned out they’d been at it a while behind his back. She told Jack he was too clingy for her.” Sean shook his head with a sigh. “Jack’s gotten that a lot over the years. When he likes someone, he goes all in. Total focus.”
That sounded like what I’d done with Neil, though the more I thought about the past, the more I realized how little Neil had reciprocated. What would it be like to have someone else’s attention on me? Not just anyone’s, but Jack’s attention? Tinglesdanced along my scalp when he looked toward me and smiled. I lifted my hand in a wave, but then the bandmates looked my way, and I turned toward Sean.
“He’s been taking a break from dating since his last breakup. Jack’s never been one to do the casual thing.” Sean shrugged, flagging down the tall bartender I hadn’t met to order a drink.
I glanced toward the stage again, relieved the band’s attention had shifted away from me. Jack was laughing at something the drummer said. These were people Jack used to spend a lot of time with. They knew him a lot better than I did. I wondered what they were like.
“I’ve got something for you, too,” Sean said, reaching into his back pocket. He pulled out some folded-up papers, smoothing the creases against the bar. When the bartender dropped off his drink, Sean waved a hand. “Got a pen?” he asked, thanking him when he handed him one from behind the bar.
“Is that a questionnaire?” I asked, leaning closer to the papers. At the top, it read ‘Kink Interests Checklist.’ “Sean!” I squealed, my hands trying to cover as many of the words as I could. The page was covered in terms that made me blush. Some I didn’t even know.
“Don’t overthink it,” Sean said, pushing the pen into my hand. “You’re single now, and I think you could use some self-reflection. From the top wish list item you’ve shared, it’s about time you got to experience new things. This will help you figure out what interests you most.” He lifted the top two pagesso I could see the bottom one. “I started you out with some write-ins.”
I read ‘musicians’ and ‘big noses.’ “Those aren’t kinks!” I hissed.
Sean smirked at me. “Fetishes count.”
“That’s not what it is. I just…” My eyes shifted to Jack, who now had a guitar in his hands. His hands looked just right holding it. “I like what I like,” I murmured.
“Mm-hmm. I’ve got a pretty good idea what you like.”
My shoulders hunched as I looked back at him.
“Don’t worry, honey. I’m just teasing you. But I’m serious about this.” He nudged my hands off the top of the paper. “It’s pretty easy. Go with your gut. There are columns for ‘I love it,’ ‘I like it,’ ‘I’m interested,’ or ‘Not for me.’”
“This is embarrassing,” I said, scanning the form. The first few questions looked easy enough, but some of them… “What if I don’t know what something is?”
“I can explain it,” Sean offered, “or if that’s too much, you could look it up on your phone.”
“I know I’m going to regret this,” I muttered, starting on the first question. “Don’t look,” I told him.
He laughed. “I’ll pretend not to, if that helps.”
With one eye on the stage—I didn’t want to miss anything—I went through as much as I could. Not many ended up in the ‘love’ or ‘like’ columns, since I hadn’t tried a lot of it, but the ‘interested’ column was the heaviest. There were some hard no’s as well. My search history would neverbe the same.
By the time I got to the last page, which was mostly check marked ‘not for me,’ Jack had played a few beats on his guitar and Wendy was stepping up to the mic to introduce the band.
“Y’all are in for a treat,” she told the bar. “Our very own Jack Carson is going to play for you tonight.”
I folded up the papers, turning my body fully toward the stage.
Jack stepped up next to her. “Don’t get them too pumped. I’m pretty rusty, but I’m with some of the best people I’ve ever played with. No matter what I do, they’ll sound good.”
