I didn’t want to stop him. Being there with Jack was so much better than the past years with Neil. Jack put me first. I couldn’t remember Neil ever doing that.
“I’m so tired,” I admitted, my voice breaking. I sniffled, not wanting to cry. “Between my mom and Neil and this, I’m just so tired.” I squeezed my eyes shut so the tears wouldn’t fall.
“I know you are. Come here.” He lifted me as he turned, trapping me against the back side of the couch, his legs swinging up, tangling up with mine as I straightened them. We were both on our sides facing each other. I turned my head and pressed my ear against his chest. His heartbeat was slow and steady, easing away the last of my tension.
My hands were trapped over his stomach, as if I was going to push him away. I didn’t want that. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth of his arm curled over me as his other hand began stroking my hair again.
“What do you think he would have done to me if I hadn’t noticed?” I’d been two turns away from the house. Much too close, and I doubted Neil had been there to help.
Jack’s hand paused, and he pulled me in tighter. “Don’t think about that. What-ifs never help. You did notice. That’s how you’re here with me instead.” He kissed the top of my head.
I breathed him in. From this close, he smelled like coconut, lavender, and palm trees. I could almost imagine we were on an island, just the two of us. “I like being here with you.”
“I—” His chest shuddered against me as he sucked in a breath, cutting himself off. His hand tangled in my hair, holding me close. “I don’t think I could have handled it if you got hurt.”
His words spread deep inside my chest, mixing with the knowledge that Neil, my boyfriend, probably hadn’t even read my message that I hadn’t come home. That was wrong. So much about me and Neil was wrong, but I wasn’t going to think about it, not when I felt so safe and warm in Jack’s arms.
Chapter 16
The Worst Saturday
Jack’s heartbeat was the first thing I heard when I woke up. It remained slow and steady in sleep. His arms had gone limp, and his body had shifted slightly over mine. My hands were no longer trapped between us but had curled around his back, as if holding him close to me so he wouldn’t fall. The couch seemed narrower than the night before.
I tilted my head back, pressing it into the back cushion so I could look at Jack’s face. His mouth was slack in sleep, his chin dipped toward his chest, and his magnificent nose was on display. I couldn’t resist it. My hand drifted up his back and over his hair until I’d reached his face, stroking my fingers along the long line of his nose.
His lips curled into a smile. “Are you really molesting me in my sleep?” he grumbled in a voice still rough with sleep.
“Only your nose.” I didn’t even try to defend myself, just stroked it once more.
His hand came up, tangling with mine and pulling it away from his face. His chin tilted up, and our faces were so close, our noses brushing against each other, our lips only millimeters apart. I leaned closer to remove that distance.
“Don’t, Hailey,” Jack said tightly, his hand tightening on mine.
I jerked my head back, though it didn’t go far, not with the couch cushion right behind me. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have.”
“It’s not that. I want to—don’t think I don’t—but I can’t. Not yet.”
I blinked, able to focus on only one part of what he was saying. “You want to, too?”
“You’re so fucking tempting. Don’t think you aren’t.” He shifted his head, brushing our noses together again. “But you’re getting up to go home to Neil soon, aren’t you? To tell him what happened?”
The brightness of the sun told me it was later than I probably thought. Neil was going to get angrier the later I was. “I should go, shouldn’t I?” I closed my eyes, knowing that when I opened them, I was going to lose the warmth of Jack’s body against mine. “Neil’s my boyfriend.” It was as if I was reminding myself, but the truth didn’t quite fit.
“He is. And I’m just a friend.” Jack’s hand released mine as he sat up, scooted back, and swung his legs off the couch. His hands dug into his hair as he hung his head.
I sat up, moving away from him, a chill spreading over my arms. I wrapped them around myself, feeling hollow as I stared at Jack. From what I could see of his jaw, it’d clenched tight. “I’m sorry. Should I not have stayed?”
His hands dropped as he lifted his head. “No. I’m glad you stayed. I needed to see that you were all right.” His eyes met mine. “You’re all right now, aren’t you?”
Saying yes would feel like a lie. “I’m not sure. Something about this doesn’t feel right. Did I do something wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” He pushed up from the couch. “Let me make you some coffee.”
I scrambled up as well. “No, don’t do that. I should go.” I crouched near the door to get my shoes, slipping them on.
“Hailey?” The way he said my name wasn’t the same as the night before. It held a hesitance, maybe a question, only I didn’t know what that question was.
I froze, staring down at my feet. “We’re okay, right? I don’t like thinking we’re not okay.”
