I hid my face in my hands, blurting out, “No one has ever gone down on me!” Silence fell after, making my nerves twist even more.
“Fuck,” Sean said, his voice deeper than before.
“I know; it’s so basic. Let’s not talk about this anymore.” I peeked from between my fingers, and they both looked away.
“I need a minute,” Sean muttered, pushing to his feet and moving toward the window.
“Sorry, TMI. Pretend I didn’t say anything.”
Sean cleared his throat. “That’s going to be hard.”
“Sean!” Jack glared at his back before shifting closer with my phone. “All right, take a look at this one with me. See the ‘about me’ section?”
I leaned in until our shoulders touched. “Yeah. He’s looking for someone who doesn’t bring any drama, knows what they want, and goes for it. I was going to decline that one because that’s not me. I mean, you both have seen how clueless I am.”
“Seriously,” Sean said from the window.
Jack ignored him. “No, I mean, yes, decline him, but it’s because he’s telling you who you should be for him. In the ‘about me’ section. The dude can’t even be bothered to tell youa thing about himself. There’s another whole section for the sex stuff you’re interested in.”
“What did she put in there?” Sean asked.
“I’m about to kick you out,” Jack warned.
“I just put information about the hall pass thing. That I have a boyfriend, but he okayed me being with someone else. It took me a while to word it, but I figure it’s better than starting the conversation from scratch.” I shrugged. “Besides, being up front about it should limit the number of guys interested.”
“You’d be surprised,” Jack said with a grimace. “Hell, some of these guys lead with dick pics in their profiles.”
My nose wrinkled. “Yeah, I didn’t really like that. Though it was educational. I didn’t realize there was such a… variety.”
Jack snorted, declining a few more guys. “So, no to those, no to the ones only demanding what the other person should be like, and no to ‘touch is my love language.’ Those guys are usually just assholes stating the obvious—they want to get laid.”
I was pretty sure those three things eliminated more than half the matches who had come up.
Jack paused on a profile. “This one isn’t bad.” He scrolled. “No red flags, at least no obvious ones. What do you think?” He held the phone out to me.
I looked at the picture. The guy was blond, with a clean-cut look. His nose was on the small side, but otherwise I couldn’t see anything to complain about. “He seems nice.”
“Okay, swipe to connect and see how he reaches out. If he says anything he has to apologize for, ghost him.” He held out his hand again. “I’ll find a couple more.”
“This is really nice of you, Jack.”
“Yeah, Jack’s a saint,” Sean said, settling into his seat again.
“Fuck off,” Jack muttered, continuing to decline most of my matches.
I curled my legs up, resting my head on the back of the couch. Realizing my shoes were still on, I went to lower them again, but Jack’s hand landed on my knee, keeping them there.
“You know, most women come to the bar with backup,” Sean said. “There’s safety in numbers. You don’t have anyone like that who could go out with you? Other than the boyfriend.” The word ‘boyfriend’ came out deeper in tone.
“Not really. All of my friends are married with kids who are still young. I hang out with them when I can, but anything past ten in the evening is a no-go.” I sighed, a sleepy fuzziness settling over me, and I fought against closing my eyes. “Besides, I don’t really want to explain the whole hall pass thing. They wouldn’t get it.”
“To be honest, I don’t get it,” Jack said, lowering the phone. “If you were mine, no way would I want anyone else to touch you.”
Tingles crawled along my scalp.
“It’s not like he’s touching her. Won’t even go down on her.” Sean shook his head in disgust. “What a prick.”
“He’s not a bad guy.” My eyes slid shut. “He just thinks it’s a little, you know, down there.” I waved my hand over the top of my jeans.
